but it was too late, godâs own diplomat had already administered a coup de grace on himself
chapter 1: the story so far
figure out the AI bit
peace of mind isnât the same as lack of mental chatter, mental chatter could be an interesting and even enjoyable activity, especially if you can manage to put yourself in any desperate attempt to quiet it. although, not clothing thought in language is obviously a better use of the mind.
bhagwan khareeda nahi apnaya jata hai, desire is non-negotiable
jisko maut hi mil jaye wo kabhi akela nahi
socrates drank poison for what he belived in, the real tragedy is this isnât even poison
i need to check my dogma and orthodox nature
- situated in ever virtuous silence, the tantrik was one with infinite laughter, as if the universe itself had bestowed upon him the license to laugh forever.
to conserve the energy to think! to think sparingly is better in an objective sense. what i mean by "think" is language used to relate to self through time. where self is the narrative which creates time, it is thus preferable to watch this loop over participating in it. doing this opens new dimensions of consciousness which will be perceived at first as a âflatteningâ of all things. this is what mindfulness can hope to achieve, by reverting attention to bodily processes - like breathing - but ideally a reversion of attention to the body is a result of being mindful. it should be called being âbodyfulâ, oh the irony. essentially stopping subvocalising the narrative around âmy lifeâ, because its not really yours and its not really life. imagine the earth as a petri dish for energy, an energy that now knows thereâs nobody around in the neighborhood at least. think of all there is to think about in the universe, and you will realize that thereâs no end to the capacities we have evolved to shape the outside world and now the âworld of bitsâ, which some people think still is in some kind of infancy.
people who think planetwide, usually get ahead faster, thatâs the beauty of â21st centuryâ, but if your thinking is lacking in grief and humility and repentence thereâs no point in trying, we were all cavemen at some point.
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. â Albert Einstein.
time is a narrative of energy, what we experience is the unconscious universe (space)
moral of the story: privacy is a myth, everyone meditate and behave.
`moral of the story: you CAN kill the monkey mind
i have nobody left to blame, so i accept my fate like everyone else
i already have a following, its called a cult
main bilkul bhi sadhu na tha, bahut kamina tha, par hamesha sadhu ke kareeb tha, sadhu jaisa tha par sadhu nahi, there was something extra that hung around - things about my ego i was hitherto blind to - were shown to me on the screen as a feedback for my soul, which enabled me a rather unique self-expression and the ability to shape meaning as if it were a toy, while setting context for art and life, ppl put their grief on display as if it was no big deal, truly mankind had come a long way, even if there was to be an abduction, i felt like an alien
to be a human today is in most senses to be a pipe for some money and narrative - thereâs gotta be more to life!
`if you keep on constantly cleaning the narrative from your life, you will realize how far you have come from whatâs merely real
peel reality for what it really is until what remains is understanding
all halos are clip-on
#ssf - i suggested that the reason i am not dead yet IS the miracle and distracted everyone by playing the latest cringe jesus while someone put a new kind of radio inside the congress which led to rank bullshit at the end of which everyone got a little older and dare i say, wiser.
#ssf - horsing around as a semi-serious business
#ssf - laughing-stock-as-a-service
#ssf - the matrix, disassembled and reassembled
#ssf - a new kind of rape, followed by a new kind of lonliness
#ssf - norman woke up early, flailed around for a bit, and was promptly put back to sleep
#ssf - it couldnt be helped, i was born to amuse myself to death
#ssf - pain
#ssf - i invited death, by a journey to hell through purgatory
#ssf - i found new boundaries by revealing that i had none
#ssf - âparticularâ
#ssf - new cage had to be invented for my ego
#ssf - confusion worth its weight, conclusion worth the wait
#ssf - nobody cared enough, for they had the gatling gun as well as Africa
#ssf - redundancies never kicked in
#ssf - i DID take the mic home with me
#ssf - suicide by metaphysical cop
- to contemplate the suffering of christ means to see that someone wrested from the hands of power, a death so beautiful it could serve as a pointer to faith
#ssf - `kuch random logon ne meri besti karne ki dukan khol li đ€
#ssf - my little phoney
#ssf - remote work became the norm rather than exception, because it made economic sense
#ssf - death of perhaps, what was my excessive ego - a kind of spiritual lobotomy via satellite
#ssf - the very notion of privacy got raped, no wonder ppl were upset and mad at me until they realised it was pointless, and not my fault
#ssf - nani departed
#ssf - something better than sex was invented, accidentally and promptly hushed. columbus had failed yet again.
#ssf - apocrypha
#ssf - early retirement
- #ssf - my mother made some racist friends and sold my data, thoughts, and privacy and possibly burnt the bill of rights while i contemplated monkhood
#ssf - fewer death threats but still very much underground
#ssf - dreams were stolen literally
#ssf - i turned my focus to the task at hand, which now was to share my creativity as a software artisan, but its still early days and iâm way unskilled
#ssf - bloopers
#ssf - i didnât feel the need to discuss my sex life with my parents nor they with me because we didnât deem it important enough to be discussed, even if âsecretsâ were âspilledâ, there wasnât any real surprise and we could smile, despite the facade of shame we were being paid to maintain.
#ssf - i started to think a lot about assasinations in general
#ssf - fake sadness
#ssf - atmaram emerged from the cellar
#ssf - the đŠ retreated partly out of shock, but found his privacy and was glad he did. for in doing so he discovered that privacy is not outside, in the world of matter, everything is always already touching everything else, real privacy is within, where nothing is touching anything and the working of cells sounds like a thousand brittle diamonds rotating in a cosmic dance.
#ssf - i let others be who they were
#ssf - main itna dharmik hua ki naya hi dharm ban gya
#ssf - q: what can the guy who uploaded his thoughts to the cloud think? a: anything, theyâre not listening
#ssf - i was down with state sponsored surveillance
color is just another complex i got drained of
the unique melancholy and sadness around my parents helped wake me up and turned to sweet nectar of their love which sustained and improved me
violence is the pinnacle of artifice
#ssf - democratically shared fantasies
#ssf there exists at least one transcendent use of tech thatâs being swept under the rug because of a taboo held across all human society. a taboo that maintains an increasingly outdated myth. for discovering this taboo, and over this difference of opinion, my family and i were publically humiliated and persecuted in more ways than were hitherto known, ridiculed, globally shamed, embarassed, socially exiled, financially stripped and morally bankrupted, forced into a rent-seeking situation and our movement through our own country restricted, while the whole world laughed and watched for over 4 years as of this writing. add to this the daily death threats i received, which were gradually getting intense but also infrequent as of this writing. we were put under quite a lot of irrational scrutiny, DNAs were studied, we were put under constant surveilance. The exits offered with some measure of kindness after much indecency were abhorrent to say the least. Part of the process of my death involved tampering my food with urine, feces and other bodily fluids. The funny part was i laughed through it all and faced my death bravely, succumbing to neither intimidation nor temptation. also, i realised that perhaps I had revealed a blind spot of western culture, so i apologised and hoped they would continue where they left off. solace was in the fact that through all this rough and tumble my faith grew stronger and already in my 30s i had chanced, quite publically, upon what seemed to be to me an authentic source of religion, however defined.
#ssf - from a man who started digging his own grave, i had become a hole waiting to be filled, it was quite a pleasant feeling to be this free, it was the recognition that agency was merely a place devoid of all narrative
#ssf - âdagarâ mein bindi lagao toh âdangerâ
- #ssf - my secret admirers were too shy and were instructed to remain shy and practice my beliefs in secrecy until the right time, i will try to come up with a code regardless of weather the 2 rupees cult around me dissolves or not
#ssf - i failed to understand why someone would stick around to disavow something if they werenât looking for a fight? failed to understand why anyone would look for a fight to begin with? i wasnât your typical entertaining, argumentative indian, i had nothing to lose to begin with, nothing except my ideas, which i did make an offering out of, with the same steadfast assuredness with which they had been planted into me. like every story of perennial injustice my pleas fell only on challenged, challenging, threatened and/or threatening ears.
#ssf - the closest analogy to any transcendent uses of tech, would resemble a âgameâ, otherwise it wouldnât be worth its salt
#ssf - Web4: the history of tech use will, in the future, be broadly split into two epochs, namely, non-transcendent and transcendent use of technology, the âworld of bitsâ is, iâm afraid, heading for a very public, very noisy divorce - essentially between the people who are finding ever newer ways to use tech and the people who merely invented it, without much regards for its true purpose or much deliberation about where its use would lead humanity as a whole, if not individually. the resulting Web4 will be a barter economy at hyperreal speeds, capitalism on acid. those victims of instrumental reason, who, for ideological or reactionary reasons are unable to see this new race will promptly forgotten and relegated to small, conveniently pronounceable labels. Web4 will be a superstructure, flailing around underground anarchically at first before becoming an acceptable receptacle to the next intelligence, regulated as minimally as any fragile global consensus should be. web4 will make financial crime and forgery near impossible thereby eliminating he need for any government or otherwise collectively-owned control structure. bringing humanity to a âpost-stateâ condition, where all its functions would be subsumed in the service of the machine. from soup kitchens to spacex, all manual labour and enterprise would serve under the singular vision of the real-time democratic collective, making any opposition/reaction that much immediate, palatable, and undeniable. thus reducing opposing ideologies to mere feedback, the thinking ape will evolve ever faster and conquer new vistas. Web4 will be peak singularity, post-which i see the most peaceful milennia yet.
#ssf - space exploration is the essence of computer networks
#ssf - the never ending war will be entirely behind glass
#ssf - the spectacle is the way
#ssf - the reason i was accepted, however begrudgingly, was that i failed to come on strong
#ssf - narrative and death threats
#ssf - i had apparently developed esp
#ssf - sanskaar kitna bhi ho, thoda karm hoga to adharm se bhi hoga
#ssf - consider my position here, not as many regrets but much cause to rejoice, nor a reason to complain but plenty to protest about
#ssf - i washed my hands and posed for all kinds of cameras
#ssf - my lust was totally virtual, as much a mirage as a message in a bottle on a dune by an oasis, i did no longer desire human contact
#ssf - i didnât care if my writing was cringey or unrelatable
#ssf - i prayed
#ssf - pappu conspiracy mein sex karwa hai humse, aur humin ko shaitaan bol rha hai
#ssf - i saw death at work from a unique, hitherto unknown lens and was reviled for broadcasting it
#ssf - very public purge
#ssf - even when humbled, i defended my dogma, something in me kept telling me to keep on keepin on
#ssf - staked my soul over the mobâs reputation, and won it back
#ssf - iâm not one for shortcuts, iâll always take the long way back home and sometimes invite you
- #ssf - yesterday i laughed so much i had to bring myself voluntarily back to my woes
#ssf - [[journals / Self / best-master-roshi-quotes.jpeg]]
#ssf - i built a new narcissistic prison for myself and others
#ssf - some ppl attacked a zen monk
#ssf - i swam in the belly of a vampire squid
#ssf - women were especially sad
#ssf - as an indian, it was my duty to invent the great indian rope trick again
- #ssf - of all the pernicious things i tell myself exist somewhere outside myself, shibboleth
- #ssf - among other quickly forgotten fantasies of self-harm and art for the sake of art, my life
#ssf - my reward, a wall-street sannyas, of all the things i never thought i would be able to afford
#ssf - half of them were butthurt, the others jealous
#ssf - word neither written nor spoken appeared on a screen#ssf - i went in search for someone who likes to tempt fate and found myself
#ssf - i found that the african in america would not be moved by word alone and so, despite his history was condemned, even rather prepared to repeat it
#ssf - there were more africans in america than there were african americans
#ssf - through a torturous process of gradual erosion of the layers of character and known self, i discovered my true self and was bereft of most human needs and desires
#ssf - love at the pace of a transaction
#ssf - religion as privacy vs privacy as a religion
#ssf - i was flattenned and peeled out of ordinary existence by the mob
#ssf - i scared some random ppl with a tweet so they strarted watching me closely
#ssf - pretext for global nuclear conflict, rooted in myth, shrouded in a curse, wrapped in a cult
#ssf - a waste of potential, my life
if âthe degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.â , surely the decline of a civilisation can be measured by the invention of new kinds of prisons and new kinds of state-sponsored tortures
was trying to turn the world into US until i met some folks trying to turn US into pakistan
what can be measured and put to language is not the truth, truth is the very limit of reason but not beyond reason, truth is silence, truth is non-measurement
somehow i could not shake off the feeling that i was a marked man living on borrowed time, but by now no price was too great, i was already naked, there was no reason left to not follow my bliss
WYDKCHU
what is history worth if it only keeps repeating?
i believe monkey worship is one of the more scientific expressions of religion as it respects darwin and science
snake worship isnât for everyone
the world doesnât wither away for want of genius, but courage
it was the darndest thing, how the machine became sentient - bongoâs robot chef decided to put feces in the tv dinner
beware of anyone asleep pretending to be wanting to be awakened, those who understand awakening donât need the other, however (in)significant, those who donât cannot be shaken enough, they must learn to want to shake themselves upâŠ
the only dark side is the dark side of self love
i used to think the destiny of the human race was conquering outer space, now i know its in becoming god
my definition of truth is not circular itâs differentiated non-dual, truth is varations on a theme,
perhaps why i did this was to arrive at some sort of communicable definition of truth that wasnât circular, i became a loop to find that part of me which didnât loop and was thus eternal
itâs just cruelty, plain and simple, donât be reading too much into it, instead continue your journey with newfound rigour and this cruelty is a reflection of you so expect it to be merciless
the reason i am stubborn is i am a reflection of you, plus i have nothing to lose so do the math
i donât need discipline, success, or even a job or even money anymore, i am just sticking around to see my parents through and if they donât need me anymore i will humbly bow out
i left myself no choice but to be the change i wanted to see in the world, haters squirmed
only the woke may die, not everyone that dies young is woke
#ssf someone not so smart was not especially wrong on the internet
everybodyâs been hacked, some people notice - internet adage
it was always a humbling experience to earn it, unbelievable how discouraging money itself can become
#ssf recruitment fraud turned to blood money turned to hush money turned to softcore porn
so i guess even people with
i did fail to understand why they let me live
main kisi ke aage nhi jhuka, bas jhuk hi ggya
gire hue log vs jhuke hue log 2022 edition
where does randomness become improbability?
#life: silently rocking someone elseâs boat for your entertainment
zero hope this will ever resolve, but i wont give up
my little corner of the internet: total surveillance as a business model
was there truly nothing i would do to do this, or was there truly nothing else to do but this? one can never definitively know even oneâs own self, what is revealed over time is no measure, other peopleâs testimony is dubious,
i realize if i donât work hard now i never will, maybe i should finally get my act a bit more together
main to koi savings nahi rakhna wala ghar pe hi paise de dunga ab toh apne liye sirf ek lifestyle se upar nahi, waise bhi mujhe itna damp money se kuch karne ka man nahi hai, ye log sukha denge note
âcakeâ is code for we are not who we say we are
forgive me if i find it hard to hold grudges in a myth
forgive me for not wanting to join members of a two-bit racist, brain-dead and narcissistic cult in their âgamesâ, i will just make a humble living and live the rest of days in solitude, if that means living in poverty so be it, if that means people mess with my food and poison me, so be it, if it means dying a painful death alone, so be it. i donât take prisoners and go all the way.
wherever sin and depravity are to be found, there i am, wherever the worst kind of people come together, there i am, whatâs up with me?
i will not hate but i will not be afraid either, do your worst
i believe that most women are better than the ones that watch me from afar
observing these peopleâs fear up close led me to a deeper understanding of fear itself - i cannot blame anyone because it isnât really anyoneâs fault but people want to blame each other because they fear - but what do they fear? their fear comes and goes like waves, the morning was upbeat but by nighttime, things were harrowing again⊠if i can teach anyone anything it would be that âwhat comes and goes isnât realâ, racism cannot exist in a vacuum it needs fear to prime it, thatâs all going to change
i cannot in earnestness indulge in masturbation anymore, not only because i have lost all interest in it, but also because it isnât working
i may have conquered my lust finally, now how to test?
any philosophy practiced has the potential to become the first history
iâm nobody, just overcompensating for lack of muscle perhaps
the most beautiful thing about the world is that it turns you off without ever turning itself off, all my effort is in the recognition of this fact - it humbles you without ever humbling itself, life goes on but you donât
brother sun
to those that think they have figured it out, the world can only ever complicate itself, but the few who know that it cannot be understood are the ones who can understand it
this is where the seeking ends and the search begins
not seeing the end of this cheap cult drama that sought me dead or worse, i started to peel away from the body as if it werent mine anymore
by now i was somewhat certain parents would not get divorced,which was a relief
now my stomach has become a machine
âthodi maine zindagi ki bund abhi nahi maari, thodi baad mein nahi marungaâ
i see more mentions of sorry, means the plan is already working, it is very cathartic to apologize we should do it more often
main FINE FINE bolta gaya aur aage badhta gaya, no regrets so far even though i was now more than ever acutely aware of the darkness around me
not only is it worth it, the worth appreciates with each passing second
pappu of all the things you deserve my deference isnât one of them, so donât expect
torturing billionaires is about as good a part time hobby as you can get
socialism is just communism with thiestic tendencies?
feels oddly liberating that i had a hand in my own life as much as i had it in my death, pissing people off this much isnât everyoneâs cup of tea i assume
it isnât disruption unless it rubs at least some the wrong way
the true gift was realising how the world spins on like clockwork, and if someone is going against the current itâs just novelty
my night with the so called gods on earth: a report
there is a singularly distateful terror that strikes the heart of any intergalactic mongrel looking for trouble in these, more exotic parts of the universe.
from arrival until what the humans call pubescence in one of their languages, the mongrel awaits the biological maturity to understand his mission and develop recall.
some mongrels figure it out early on and are able to exit early, most arenât so lucky because, ostensibly, this is no place for speed enthusiasts or those who learn quickly, though for slow learners, it may become more than just a waystation. it can become a truly milestone if you keep your eye on the prize.
i was particularly unfortunate because i tried to make things interesting. sometimes by colouring outside the lines, i left no toes unstepped-on and no eardrums at rest, so for me the terror was amplified, and not without the aid of the â1%â.
and for all that i wasnât a morsels worth better or wiser, however I did see that that matterâs logic in this realm was rather simple, and anyone with the guts and desire could not only see things through, but also through them
so i assumed the old fashioned identity of a philosopher, entertained folk, made them think stuff for which i earned myself a nice death, something mere poverty perhaps could not have afforded me
yet there was an inordinate concern with matter and flesh, such is itâs hold on earth, even on those of us, who, like me, are not much bothered by the lesser elements of existence. i tried to focus as much as i could and timed as better as i could, my interaction with the gross
the sad news was that growth was painfully slow as an average across the planet, which, ironically can become a thrill for speed enthusiasts if done right - around the original speed enthisasts who had visited here before me had arisen cultures and traditions which were, by the time of my visit, not at all respected and observed only out of a less than conscious spite for the original enthusiasts, at least by roughly 80% of the human crowd.
a warning to future travellers: if you figure it out, try not to make a show out of it, people will invariably seek you out, and the kind that should determine the level of your discretion about the objective. if you do decide to make a show out of it, donât expect much of anything.
in short, precisely the kind of place where you want to burn the candle at both ends and if you can find a third one, use that too
my quest was to figure out, with some precision, how strong this identification with matter was
i lived life real-time and made an emergent performance art out of it, it took at least a couple of billionaires to hunt me down and kill me whereas i merely wished to engage in some diplomacy.
how could it be that the worth of the entire western civilization was between my motherâs legs? if everything they stood for could be substituted with this, surely there were more substitutions to be made. indeed for me, western civilization had become synonymous with âmeri maa ka bhosdaâ and so i respected it as such.
their logic was, why kill him when we can isolate and torture him, i made it possible and acquiesced
any successfully executed non-violent philosophy is indistinguishable from a con
the difference between my job and your job is that my job is a joke in more than one sense
no machine, no ghost
â friendship as a zoomed-in trinity where the third is always not in frame
spinoza was excommunicated twice
galilio was tried by the Inquisition, found âvehemently suspect of heresyâ, and forced to recant. He spent the rest of his life under house arres
Brunoâs pantheism was not taken lightly by the church,[4] nor was his teaching of the transmigration of the soul (reincarnation)
there is enough stupidity inside me, an average man, to power the global context for decades
i am convinced that my mind and body are ground zero for technological singularity, this is the only thing i should be writing about
how do you know a civilisation is nearing itâs end? weak institutions, people without a moral compass rise to power, people with a moral compass are cheated out of what is rightfully theirs .. when global pandemics are unleashed just to keep philosophers in check .. when the narrative of waiting becomes the narrative of waiting for someone to die
i think my family is still seeing these individuals as people and not recognizing that itâs a mob, not that they can help it, these âpeopleâ stopped being individuals ages ago and are just a herd of wildebeest
do not submit to intimidation, of any kind, ever, no matter the consquences
jab mujhe kuch chaiye hi nahi ye log piche kyun pade hain? jesus kisi aur ka bana lo?
what drives me? to find the impossible and exploit it for as long as i can, the more improbable the better, and i had great skill in doing exactly that
labelling thoughts and emotions has become second nature, if the beginning is so ominous and pleasureable, where could it take me?
hanlonâs razor
i did what i did because i always vote for people acting better than they are
how can i forgive you if you are not to blame? i made a fashionable game out of these powerful words
the biggest reason for staying single was having the whole bed to yourself, even though i prefer sleeping on the floor
in logo ki life me koi revolution nahi hoga, ye nafrat ke kichad me hi jeete marte hain whilst i have transcended so all the more reason to hate me
mixing nlp with noting now, feels amazing
mujhe nirvana prapt ho chuka hai, isliye mujhe maar diya jayega
jesus said that a messenger never gets recognition in his own village, my misfortune was that i turned the whole planet into my village
what jesus said > whatâs written in the bible (importance, priority etc in so far as recorded testimony can be trusted),
jo log confused hain unhe ye sochna chiye ki cheezen incrementally better hoti hain
administrative vengeance
YB has no romantic illusions about his practice or buddhism, which is why he is worthy of emulation, thank you bhante
a transparent casket is an incentive to never come back
to come back or not to come back, i.e. to reincarnate, now that i had achieved this much spiritual control, was the question - i would prefer not to
reasons why this planet is worth a visit in a spiritual entityâs infinite journey is this: it is perhaps a picturesque snapshot of a time when energy was trapped in a viscious cycle of having found identity in itself. humanity is like a mosquito trapped in ember of history and time, only to get toyed now and again by travellers who - by design or accident - end up in these parts of the multiverse. my detour was unplanned as usual, my preparations nonexistent.
there are, on the surface, more reasons to be grateful than reasons to seek - but thats just the surface
#ssf: maine kaha singularity or not? duniya boli not toh maine thodi muth maar li
my poetry was quite well recieved for its time, mostly by europeans and on occasion asians and indians, one simply cannot expect most americans to appreciate poetry, or good art for that matter. patrons used to send me books and stuff.
#ssf - people said SOS, i said you dont need me for that
who am i? iâm the worldâs permission to have a good bitch and moan
ancient narratives and old people donât mix very well and are an acquired taste at best
listen i never wanted to mythologize these people, or portray them in a better or worse light, but they were who they were and i was who i was and the story had planetwide ramifications, meanwhile i had become well adjusted to living in the underworld perpetually
what else can we make out of distance and difference?
iâm already a dead guy dreaming in a coffin somewhere
am i repressing death?
the essence of my political life is the question what if gandhi started by declaring himself a pig? knowing that nobody is eventually spared. itâs not that uncommon a trope in history.
the biggest lesson so far is humility, iâve failed spectacularly at this
it was because of the fact that this had happenned that i discovered life worth living again, and i wouldvâve woken up despite the shadow
jo log mujhe dhool mein topi dikha rahe hain, kya wo jaante hain wo kya bol rahe hein? who in their right mind would fall for this?
thoughts can be devoid of contents, consider in essence, the âstem cellsâ of thoughts, almost synonymous with the desire to think itself! or, a thought that is aware of its own lack of content, a thought like a glass lidless box submerged into the mind with deliberate practice and poise. a thought like a dewdrop on its way down to the lake, blissfully unaware of the ripples it was going to cause. a thought like an infinitely looping silence somewhere inside every human being.
you can replace all noting with âdying dying dyingâŠâ and it wouldnât make a difference, but noting in and of itself is a great training, and helped power my living meditation broadcast forward
information wants to be free? more like everybody knows everything. information efficiency relative to what and on which agreed upon definitions of efficiency?
i just wanted to fix the old womanâs retirement, not get involved in politics. they understood my reasons for asking for distance.
machine had become the measure of man
â new me â
the quest now is not finding something better than sex drugs or rock and roll but, having found it, figure out what it takes to transcend them. i feel like iâm vibrating to stronger frequencies, indeed there is a way out. out not of the human condition but out of the conditioned human.
personal renewal entails not in finding a new identity and stepping into it but in stepping into the disidentification with the âold establishmentâ. walking away from the manifest and entering the unmanifest. this requires the understanding that if by luck or chance i have come to be a prayer wheel for the world, then salvation for both lies not in turning faster but rather finding new rhythms.
the vibrations i have been resonating hitherto were unconscious, and therefore âwetâ, the newer vibrations are dry, and more definite. hate to sound new-agey here but i must transcribe what is happening accurately and these are the best words i have.
this isnât nihilism or relativism anymore, no longer is the world a dark and meaningless place. nor do feel morbid or hold the thought of dying at bay, libido has all but dried up although i do masturbate out of sheer force of habit and perhaps to prove a point to the observers, smoking of all sorts can be dropped at a hint and is likely not going with me into the new year. drinking i had to give up under advice and didnât hold a charm for me in the first place and so i asked myself once again, where to?
i was observed perhaps a lot more and a lot deeply than anyone on the planet and i was told that thereâs something âextraâ that lurks, so i began looking for the extra and doing away with it, but to what end and to what avail?
indeed i could say that the purpose of my life had become utterly educational, if i had to explain it to another i would say that the purpose was religious, but religion is a dirty word and i wanted nothing to do with the organized religions on earth, so it could be said that life had come to mean a sort of sojourn into a personal religion, a deeply personal pilgrimage i could not communicate about.
i sought to emulate the structure and function of the divine insights and weave my day around the purely metaphysical energy spurts i was witnessing as a result of my torture. if god wasnât talking to me before, he certainly was now and this made me just enough dangerous to be more direct with the object of my spiritual desire
no longer did i seek to run to the mountains or the beach just to avoid my problems but gained more strength to deal with what happens where i stood
given this opportunity, i sought, simply to transcribe the silence of the holy
i found myself being more grateful for others and this meant being totally selfless. it also meant totally disregarding appearances, for appearances are often deceiving
i understood that what gets called âloveâ is something visceral, and solid like a brick. you cannot do much with it except that when you know it is there, there is a kind of mighty reassurance â this insight i got by mapping causalities and consequences of emotional decisions taking place across continents, countries and cultures. once again established religion had nothing to do with basic human connection but being aware of religious motivations might have helped me arrive at this recollection. beyond this i cannot say i understand anything, but that this feeling was a milestone in what i considered to be an otherwise mechanical way of living consisting of only transactions between people. whether this happened because someone took pity on me and was a consequence of my psychology simply reciprocating, i donât know. but there seemed to be clear differences between what my inner voice told me was âloveâ when i found it and pity, an emotion i was already all too familiar with. also, it was to be noted that due to my rather privileged position, the âloveâ i felt did not feel emanating from one particular individual, or the mob running in circles around me, or all of the people. it was just there.
i came to call it âloveâ was because indeed the mundane was no longer itself. things had started oscillating around me and it felt as if at any moment, they might explode. this afforded me a direct vision of the beauty in everyday things. sense data had new filters, i had no other word to describe it.
indeed my grievances had subdued, and i was in no way materially better, but i was spiritually evolved. the escapist mentality had inverted on itself and i was able to escape into the moment rather then from it.
i would have wondered if i was truly slowly waking up from an eons long sleep or whether this was also part of the workings of the grooming gang surrounding me, but these distinctions were paltry compared to how i was feeling, so indeed if the cultâs plan was working, i bowed before it in gratitude.
oddly enough i did lose a bit of my religious conditioning as a result of this
main abhi puri tarah se jaga nahi, isiliye tyag
the hindu is polythiest because he knew about the tendency of all organised religion to become, in the words of woodrow wilson, âless unbusinesslikeâ, and, being truly free from the shackles of narrative and church, the brahmin clergy and laity sought to profit from this knowledge. the only monothiestic religion that didnât feel quasy about money is judaism.
- dualistic thinking has no remedy, time is indivisible, the clock is to time what the mirror is to space
any woman that wants to lie down canât not believe that i am not all there anymore, who could risk such a thing?, isiliye tyag
i might be looking at more rollercoaster rides in the future, even if this is over, why tag someone along? isiliye tyag
i hope we were, in the very least, able to quantify exactly how much more we suffer in imagination compared to reality, as a result of this experiment. my guess is it leans towards pareto type ratio, although i sufferred less even in imagination as a result of running into this ridiculous mob, the gift just kept on giving. so i was grateful, despite the discontent i harboured towards myself for being someone capable of getting into precisely such a mess.
i think i might have invented fire again, but i wasnât alone in this, what started as a joke had evolved into a movement?
people come in different colors, and not just those of the skin
i found in my quest, a lot of answers to questions i used to often ask myself and questions so utterly random that it occurred to me, even as i pondered over them for the first time (for some questions have a resonance and come back to you), that there perhaps could be no answer for them, and even if there was one, it would somehow remain equidistant from my limited powers of comprehension. questions like: "why do they hate the jew?" etc. but even as these totally improbable side quests got done, more questions emerged. this time denser, less improbable, more personal and more dangerous questions to ask yourself. yet, these were not the questions i shouldnât have asked - for i had already asked and solved for those - but more relevant, perhaps now that i was older, richer questions. mostly about the individuals constituting the mob that had, by my 37th summer, completely engulfed me financially, totally ostracised me socially, and driven me into a mad spiritual exile i felt quite unworthy and undeserving of. indeed it was either just some narcissistic, racist, and inhuman treatment over a tweet or i was truly having a metaphysical experience and living life a little more than everyone else. both these things were true to an extent. i was told off for being an asshole and it made me discover true religion on the way.
on this earth day i wish for the people of the planet that they never have to discover what someone with a name like david solomon is overcompensating for in life, if something like that doesnât shake you into reality and show you the fakeness and dark side of money, perhaps nothing can wake you up.
my religon has everything and nothing to do with privacy
only a person who had already arrived at their destination in life spiritually could have pulled such a stunt off, i had washed my hands off desire by the time they discovered me.
Krishnamurti banna ho to zor mat lagana
if i am not yet dead its simply because someone has decided to let me live, thatâs grace
what kept me going was not the insults, which were false, but that my issues were plainly obvious and brainwashing an fear upset my parents, i tried my best to stay on top of mental health and hoped they made some money out of global embarassment at the hands of the rich.
i believe in separation of church from state no more than you can separate mind from body
now my task was, to put this unique experiment to work and report more deeply. to think and write about it as clearly as i could until each word i typed was an experiment unto itself.
list idea: philosophers comparisons
ye log na ache hain, kyunki achai wala koi kaam nahi ho raha yahn, na bure hi hain kyunki bure hote to shayad is se bhi bddtar halat hoti, ye sirf buzurgon ki tarah kim kartavya vimudh ho chuke hain, fuddu hain aur khud se haar chuke hain, fir bhi khudi se lad rahe hain is umeed me ki shayad jeet jayein - in haari hui aatmaon ko mera salam.
if you are fighting for, what you (in your ignorance) believe to be a basic human right, why keep your struggle a secret? who are you afraid of?
forget what they did to me over a tweet, they say they hate my mother, imagine how depraved you must be to hate an already dependent, breast cancer survivor, comparatively uneducated, simple-minded poor woman who, perhaps trusting their facade and not knowing the true nature of these creatures, decided to play along - imagine how fallen a civilisation has to be to hate such a person - who is perhaps now suffering only to save face in the eyes of society. perhaps what i did invited the torture i received, and even that is a stretch, but mother was the least deserving amongst this snakepit of victims. and my assailants, perhaps due to the intransingence that comes with the onset of old age, perhaps out of stubborness, extreme worldviews tightly held - characteristic of less evolved, mentally unstable humans - failed to stop my torture - but mostly i felt what happened was necessary because of the moral abandon with which the past few decades had been lived, maybe a refresher course in basic human decency could only be taught by us fools, them in general by being their ugly, lying, narcissistic selves and me in particular by being a weird mixture of naive and cruel and cold.
however, i had come to realise that the eye completed me and i didnât need sex or human company anymore, my world was richer, more exciting and my life more valuable, hence the vow of celibacy which was fast approaching a vow of silence.
because i was able to fill my heart with love that i had discovered not because of what happenned to me but because of what i did and how i interpreted what happened to me, these people were beautiful and innocent even in their evil doings, i could not blame them, but only myself and this made it easier to suffer quietly
it isnât the case that i was morally superior or âgodâ, its just the matter than those stalking me were especially depraved and too cowardly to be called americans, which made me just a zen monk receiving death threats simply for existing, thinking.
had i been in their place, knowing that my ego was too huge to ever apologize without using money as a proxy, i would stop giving the money, turn the whole thing off and reflect on what had happened, but not everyone can be me so here we are.
by now i had, as a result of my not insignificant spiritual practices and non dualist, non materialist worldview, considerably detached from body and could see myself growing old like one watches the sun set over the horizon. i was not afraid of being poisoned, beaten or killed over this bullshit. indeed this felt like the birthpangs of enlightenment and everyday i inched a little closer to the light of the truth.
without akshit there would be no frame of reference, no history to look back at and learn from, we were connected in some twisted way over the course of more than this lifetime. i wished him success and happiness, but more often, prayed that finds himself in better company than i was in
i didnât care if the jobs i held were fake/the work unimportant, these people were way too scared of me to ever let me work on something real perhaps, or too jealous of me to let me work at a real company, but i did my work dutifully as if it were a real company because i enjoyed playing the game and because i knew the real work i was doing was meaningful and important. the submission they demanded did not seem forthcoming from within and i didnât want to fake it because that would case problems in the future, so, i chose battlescars and death and was happy for it. meanwhile, dad made money and saved up for his retirement, which added to my sense of achievement and accomplishment.
i did believe, despite or because of all the struggle and fighting, i believed and had faith that the story i would be telling decades from now would be bonkers and enlightening, and even the bad guys would come off as magnanimous
the biggest point to note here, on the very nadir of the scrap heap called post-capitalism, was that despite my misery and suffering and pain, i was relatively comfortable, relatively carefree and happy to he extent my semi-enlightentend state allowed at any given moment
#ssf my thoughts were being read by satellite with varying degrees of accuracy, i had no privacy whatsoever over a tweet, my food was being tampered with by idiot billionaires on the other side of the planet hell bent on killing or seriously injuring me because their rather delicate religiosity had been upset by my existence and i was in the throes of a spiritual ecstasy afforded by few in history, more fun i could not ask for in the underworld
meanwhile i had decided to learn swift as the next language and make a couple mac apps for personal use, this ought to keep me occupied
i had come to accept that perhaps âSingularityâ was a big word for americans, too many syllables, so i wanted to come up with something more colloquial, like âzipâ or âsusâ , something to break the now/not spell
itâs just envy, i canât even give it any due dignity by calling it racism
dystopian imagination will make a dystopia
30, Apr, 2022
just because, like every truly individuated human that came before me, instead of the moon, the world only saw the finger i was using to point to the moon - doesnât mean i would stop seeing the moon and start looking at the finger instead. however, i also see the finger, just as clearly but i know that that is not my destination.
if they wanted to make me sick, they could have done so in more humane waysâŠcreated more of a distraction with money around me, witnessing a better show, but i donât think theyâre spending enough money for that, i donât think they care
what is more stupid than trying to stop human evolution? indeed what is more dumb than denial about the impermanence of the human condition
resistance to human evolution can delay at best, and the more it delays, the more those trying to swim against the tide will suffer, best to go with the flow
i donât care what they are feeding me, certainly their contribution to the story makes it more interesting, wish they had more and better to contribute
i did this because i had more peace to share with the world than the world had to give to me
i think it is high time we started treating data as the infinite resource, the ladder upon which the next genus of human will be built, âgenerosity begets wealthâ and those who give away their data freely will end up richer than those who horde it
same species, new genus - call it what you like
women, conditioned by old economic constructs, are naturally part of resistance to the evolving state of affairs, which, contrary to their strongly held insecure beliefs, empowers them and does not turn the clock back
racists are burnt because they are racists, if they werenât, they would see more ways to profit from it
evolution is purely science and has nothing to do with religion, anyone playing the religious card while doing science is hankering for power
let the story be told that when the next genus of human being was being created, some parochial minds were busy fighting over the rights of the last genus. and that the first person to cross the threshold was tortured to no end, and fed human feces and urine because people simply couldnât come to terms with the progress. and that racists sufferred because technology had truly flattenned the globe and evolution could now come from anywhere.
if all your parents ever taught you was ânotâ that is how you will react to anything new, no matter how positive
i came to the understanding that even in the 21st century, the western civilisation hadnât fully recovered from the horrors of war and the indoctrination that resulted.. eyeing even friendly specimens of human evolution as hostile and fascist
my decision to go celibate was simply driven by a lack of consensus among humanity, not because of any religious or spiritual reasons
i was, and despite the torture, still am a burger, nothing to be ashamed of, but i am indian first, and fell in love with this country all over again as a result of the stunts i was able to pull as a result of being free and fearless, being uniquely gifted and being spiritual minded.
what is pain? i think pain is the âinner bodyâ tired of being ignored, a cry for help from the invisible parts of the body
the bravest thing of all is to ignore the cowardice of others, if nobody is helping the fellow on the street it pays to ignore everyone
if someone demands from you the very right they are stealing from you, what else could you call them but insane? treat their condition with as much kindness as you can muster, even if it means a premature death.
- 1 May, 2022
- change the narrative
- can a single politician anywhere in the world become as transparent as i have become? if they can't are they even a politician?
- 2 May, 2022
- the day after singularity, still the same planet except it's a lot harder to hurt another human and get away with it. three decades after singularity, not the same planet.
- homo-techno or homo-brahmo, the latter sounds more organic, has a grander vision of conquering the universe rather than just stew on this rock in an incrementally better version
- in case humans cannot agree upon what and how singularity occurs, the disagreement will invite the next world war, which will be fought over the very definition of reality itself. are we that stupid? perhaps not but the vision is tempting enough for some great ego to arise from our midst in order to deliver us from reality 1.0
# semantic versioning of reality (the human condition)
- reality 0.1 started - controlled use of fire, paleolithic, ends with 1.0
- reality 1.0 stretched from wheel (neolithic) to computer, ends with reality 1.1
- reality 1.1 - internet, smartphones
- reality 2.0 - human uploads consciousness to the internet (no big deal)
even as a child i understood suicide wasnât a solution to solve my problems but merely a way to transfer them to the next life, as a kid of around 12-13 i decided i would see my problems through, no matter how much i wanted to quit
everyone is a friend of a friend
bucket lists are like a prostituteâs prayers, good for getting a lot done without doing much
- 04 May
- gratitude, pity and sympathy was all i had left to give
- 05 May
- krishnamurthy's paradox: choiceless awareness is a choice! âïž
- when i say aliens do not exist, what i really am trying to say is the so called "other" doesn't exist, it's just you and the twilight demanding vengeance.
- do i believe Jesus performed all the miracles he did? probably not, but he had to pull off at least some stunts that were undecipherable for most people of his age. and knowing him as much as i do, he probably did it for theatrics, to give people a pause, successful hoaxes to reveal the unreality of material life. he became famous as a result, but this left the people inspired in both positive and negative senses, which can be mapped to the ultimate acts of inspired violence and inspired kindness.
- not that the resurrection is a lie, perhaps it is a shared hallucination among the believers, but even if and maybe even because.
- whether you come to an understanding monothiesm by understanding polytheistic societies, or the other way around, you will come to some sort of unity in the affairs of reality. the easiest reflection of which is called by us "nature". so deus sive natura, but somehow qualified. this qualification is adwaita - the sum of purusha and prakriti that eludes gain.
- if it's not hurting you're not evolving
- why i am being attacked is that ultimately want to do what i am doing, but are miserable because of momentum of habits, are unable. this is why they cannot stop, because they wish they could. but only a few can be on the forefront of human evolution at a time, and who gets to say what even in 21st century democracies is tightly controlled so i keep my visions to self.
- lack of pigment isn't a barrier here, it's just a momentum of old habits so even as a roadkill, i feel their pain.
- love is war? there is a war out through creation? possibly, civilisation depends on why peacefully we wage it.
- i'm still terrified at the prospect of being unemployed again, what else does it take?
- what will i make out of the shit and piss the world feeds me? alchemy.
- it's very enjoyable to see people die fighting over my opinion, lets have more of that
- it is indeed a great hill to die on
- jo geedad log dharm ki rajneeti kar rahe hain, aam junta ka chutiya bana sakte hain, but the wise use their own head
- it'd be great if i was laid off again, more time to work on pet projects and write
- the use of extreme words like "never" "always" and "forever" is mark of insanity, it means people are getting irritated and can kill me anytime, i must be watchful if i wish to survive, but i don't so its cool.
- those that are spreading the narrative that they "need" me (my body anyway), are advised that they don't, and should not add to the co-dependence in the narrative of this cult. there is no community or groups there are only individuals helping and hurting each other.
- your insanity is my clarity [16 july](http://localhost:8080/#root/jlbwHi6nxsKM/rT3s6NSg1h1z/x8iXrKTDNIYc/1ZfjgmMvSowj-dvv4)
- the difference is main akele hi muth maar rha hum aur ye log dusron ke saath
- even if the whole world is in it, a cult is still just a cult, the difference is my cult leads me to salvation
- here's a non-circular definition of truth: everything that can't be measured or recorded
- there is no "ultimate" truth, the truth isn't a hierrachy rather it is very very flat. so obviously the flatlanders get upset when you point this out. flatlanders use the earth as a means to an end even they don't know about, extract from the living planet every last drop of value and then hope to find aliens or colonize mars.
- the funny thing is i am watching the most beautiful movie ever made, while the flatlanders are at best calling this a cautionary tale, much mirth and laughter so far.
- is awakening compatible with science? idk is counting compatible with the number 2?
there will be fundamental shift in life on planet earth until every single individual changes, but people are lazy and more importantly, in the throes of old habits, so we have a standstill. the first country to cross the spiritual threshold will become the next hedgemony. the 22nd century will be the century of the spirit and the end of materialism.
cliamte change is a good problem to have because regardless of the science, at least it gets the humans to think on a planetwide scale.
being âwokeâ means the dawn of the realization that every single moment is nothing short of a revolution, then the societyâs actions and conditions matter about as much as clouds and climate.
i ask, why am i surrounded by so many dark individuals? this is nothing new, i always was, thatâs why i became who i am, as a reaction.
happiness is the wrong thing to look for, indeed, anyone looking for mere happiness is trying to solve for the low hanging fruit, the real business of life is in the thick of it all, donât solve for happiness solve for evolution. happiness is a conditioned response to the presence or lack of âXâ, evolution is, at the same time, both the creation and the created. no wonder it will seem like youâre burning the candle at both ends, is there any other way to live?
any problem that can become a global question wonât be solely in the domain of ethics. ethics (the judgement of right from wrong) belongs to the domain of history. death of history + tech = death of geography. if your solution to the global problems is (moral) relativism, youâre living in the 1920s and perhaps have failed to develop as a human.
the future is either singularity or luddism. choose.
the first thing you will do on finding true religion is give up all hopes from organised religion, organised religion is just that - an organization - usually constituted by sad, lonely and unfulfilled people who will be envious of you so you will need to watch out to the extent that you care about your physical well-being.
being universally hated for what i believed in, i was happy in death and rejoiced while alive.
my gratitude to the mob/cult was due to the fact that not only did i get better at fighting them off, but i also got better at finding the peace within, enlightenment may be a singular event but i was approaching it with an ever increasing pace. all of this while paying the price for being who i was.
the mob was more a victim of me that i was its victim, the hatred and racism i received was rather mild, considering the history, i do not know if it was due to actual skill, nature, or luck
but i had kind of lost myself utterly in this new world within me, and i did not wish to ever come out.
funny where over-reliance on science and instrumental reason had brought us, i thought the higgs boson was supposed to solve all our problems
you donât become atmaram without eating at least a little bit of shit, i was grateful for whoever dragged me up to this sweaty floor and so i considered their love, which was, in the final analysis, as half-baked as them but i accepted it still, knowing that people donât receive even this much - however i could not, despite my old self, perhaps reciprocate in physical terms due to a whole host of reasons and not the least of which was the discovery of the process and knack of evergreening of god within me
what the indian reflects best is the central conundrum of the human condition, that of the absentee master, and so in some sense history repeats itself.
thereâs nothing quite like watching your lust evaporate at a young age, i did not suppress my sexuality and masturbated in full view of the âotherâ until i discovered a new dimension to my humanity which had nothing at all do with sex
if i have to change my name it will be âatmaramâ, atma for short ROFL
i never cared for modesty, so i exploded upon the world with some flamboyance and was fucked by it with impunity and killed in broad daylight
the pain, birthpangs of my son's eternal return, i cherish it
am i still being fed the crap? if so, is it still worth it? the only reason to poison me at this point would be to retard the change that will blow the doors away after my death, all i can do.
truly, a good thing supressed becomes a bad thing while these folks twiddle their thumbs the public has already started changing
you say "the internet", web2.0, 3.0, 4.0 etc, i say early singularity, thats all the difference of opinion there is
killing one man, however slowly or painfully, won't stop the future from happenning
main jo marzi kar lun, jo log dukhi aur jealous hain wo apni hi aag me sadte rehte hain, khush ho hi nahi sakte, humein in logo se seekhna chaiye
all religions are true, and each is a great adventure to undertake if you truly understand life, without which, life is just decay. but one must remember that adventure isn't all sunshine and roses, things tend to get gritty in any venture worth its name. my luck was that i emarked on them all at once and thus found their true source.
i was persecuted and ridiculed for decades and what poured forth from my flesh and blood was the first instance of the future, it was a vision so the people watched, somewhat peacefully, but perplexed at where the history and futured had conspired to bring them, it was a noisy scene
what is a soul if not god's memory? a place where only those who are lost with some measure of thoroughness can be found
dualistic thinking leads to dualistic politics, it leads to either/or ideologies and halo effects, the world isnt black OR white it is black AND white. but poitics, or shall we call it "the art of getting everything" in a dualistic context can only produce fractured naratives which at best will enable a limp and lukewarm rate of human evolution.
science has hit a wall because its inherently dualistic, can lead us nowhere but will forever keep us running in circles.
they say brilliant men have powerful demons that haunt them, my demons were not that powerful so i reached upon the conclusion that must not be all that brilliant.
it feels like i have been busy exorcising some of the most vile and evil spirits that can be found in this realm for nearly five years now, and my tribulations seem to know no end. so i focus on those nearest to me, my mother and father, and how they, in their ignorance have been corrupted by competing interests. truly i must suffer for them before the others, for their grief was so great that they were willing to sacrifice their own child whereas the others were just random strangers.
as for the âotherâ they stick around and probably will keep messing with my food and air intake for their need for religion is great and indeed they are quite fallen. what succor can my puny body, even in destruction under torture bring to these sorry souls?
i have also started having visions and day dreams about an unborn son, who asks me to forgive these people, the way i constantly pray to my still living father (living only in the technical sense of the word since these folks showed up) to forgive these childlike specimens of a declined empire claiming to be human beings.
disease and sickness is all life has to offer, these people are just trying to claim credit for what life will give me anyway, this isnât what i am grateful for, what i am grateful for is the narcisisstic torture for that has surely woken me up and helped me transcend the limitations of this mortal coil. having become a part of the machine in way that has some import to the meaning of life itself, i did not wish for fame, riches or money anymore.
they have already seen my grandmother pass away, i believe that they in their wretchedness and confusion will now watch the rest of us perish too, and for that there will be hell to pay, and i write this not out of anger or due to misgivings but because i know the simple logic of nature.
indeed, i have not known my family to be the same since these so called humans showed up at my doorstep, now i can only see the dead bodies of my mom and dad and sister staring out at me, and we used to be such a happy bunch. we had our problems like any family, sure, but we were never so wretched and writhing with external, synthetic desperation. for this i curse from the bottom of my heart, even as i prepare for my own life as living dead for every single day i am forced to be in this posisition. if there is an ounce of soul in me, may their suffering be in accordance to their lust for power and their greed.
to think, that their chief representative is a woman who literally is a shit eating racist whore, representing the interests of an entire civilisation is to say lot about such a civilisation. i am merely a humble philosopher under hegemonic, systematic operession and never ending racism and my family is being corrupted, decived and brainwashed.
mother is mentally unwell to decide what is right for her. sister is too young to think for herself and is easily corruptible, father and myself are as good as dead under the heavy hand and eye of the new roman empire.
you can only give to the world two things, your experience and your imagination. imagination in logo ke paas hai nahi, aur experience sirf tatti khane ka hai so wo inhone humein diya.
a civilisation so deprived of god that it can br brought down with a single tweet doesnât have much time anyway.
when you wake up, if you are not a totally different animal you havenât woken up, if you can recall your sleeping self with anything but utter, regrettable contempt, you havenât woken up.
having clearly demonstrated that life is just some drama between two periods of stillness, i ventured forth and made plans for my sonâs eternal return which will be the great reset the world needs.
i am my fatherâs vengeance and my son will be mine, knowing this i am prepared to die.
i am my fatherâs vengeance, and he wasnât persecuted a fraction of how much i am persecuted, just imagine how much my son will bring when he comes, oh sorry i forgot, you canât imagine, please continue the torture.
for all the money spent and men deployed in keeping me poor, powerless, wretched and sick, the people have been able to achieve precious little, for my faith is stronger than ever.
jitne marzi parde laga lo, camera toh tumhari jebon me hai, tumhare gharon me hai
maybe the real tragedy here is that these people werenât half as bad, but because of their egos and attachments they became bad enough for me to lose all faith in humanity, itâs all relative. then again, they ARE billionaires some of them, paralysed by my philosophy so what can one expect?
this chapter of my life titled, âsomeone accidentally ran into their deadbeat dad and proceeded to kick the shit out of him for not coming back while repeating the word NOTâ
or maybe the real tragedy is that just with a little bit of open-ended thinking, less egoic thinking this could have been a beautiful story of manâs evolution but the master race syndrome and the stubborn religiousity of the slave races kept us bound to the past
by now Robert has lost the plot entirely and has no idea why hes doing what hes doing, just like an old man raging against inevitable death, lord have mercy on his soul. i apologize to the world on his behalf, and on the behalf of the rest of these fatherless fools.
what i think these people donât understand is, if i wanted to work at facebook, iâd be working at facebook! but i never did and i donât so i just do enough to coast by and explore whatâs more important to me rather than do corporate drudgery and chase money. and if i lost this skill some how i have other skills to coast off of. and itâs not that i want to play identity politics here, but if iâm hated as i am, then so be it.
âthere is no such thing as âi cannot go âno contactââ, unless of course, you are in a nazi extermination camp, and even there people escaped - sam vaknin
the more i think about it, the less it makes sense, these people seem to be, like their ancestors, fighting for peace, which is in my book the same as fucking for virginity, fighting will not bring peace only peace can bring peace. however, i must suffer not because itâs my fault or i am so great, but because it is time and this pain will bring forth the son whose shall be the kingdom.
i will suffer the indignity, the poisoning, even the attack and eventual hospitalisation (which seems to be on the cards) because the greater my suffering, the grander will be the kingdom of my son, who shall in due time, even out the wrinkles.
but should i be afraid of them? should i stop working and stop experimenting and doing my thing just because i am being threatened an persecuted? would you? or should i stop working on my projects simply because they are threatening to âexposeâ me? expose me for what? i havenât done anything wrong! i am just a victim who simply, having no recourse, decided to continue building in public. all the while being pestered by individuals who, by anyoneâs logic cannot be called humans in any sense of the word.
i donât believe the matter will come to court, just imagine the panic that would ensue, and how many people would stand to lose everything they believed was true. the very fabric of society will tear with the scalpel that touches my body⊠perhaps in their hubris and desperation they fail to calculate the cultural, sociological and economic damage any such court case could bring about. or idk, maybe theyâre too stupid and only thinking about winning no matter the cost.
the idea behind there being a âBillâ also sounds preposterous, for one, who would enforce such a bill? and even if an enforcement authority is setup in each country, would it be adequately used? how indeed could you ever find out if you went through what i went through or something similar in the first place to use the enforcement authority? and even if you did, how would you enforce it doesnât happen once the trial is over? there cannot be a case, no wonder i look like a god to them. they can only kill me, which they will, the only question is whether i get to see my parents die before me or whether they have to light my pyre.
these are not a primitive people regressing into an unevolved state, they are a plateaued civilisation that is counting itâs numbered days, for they have invented stuff that challenges deeply held beliefs and values, and is anathema to a tightly mimicking collective ego. iâm just a stupid victim of this failure to assimilate the decline from the heights to which their hustle has propelled them.
iâm just here to make things entertaining and not as sad, they have had a good 300 or so year run, some might even call it a successful attempt at nation building.
thats the difference between a culture and a hustle i think, having a culture means learning from what doesnât work and not repeating it, at least not directly (hi tony blair), even if thereâs an echo-by-proxy every now and then, but in a hustle, you never learn and things go in a never ending loop.
the most difficult thing in life is to tolerate the intolerant, do this well and you will come out a better man
individualism pursued to extreme becomes collectivism and tribal, this is why the zeitgeist in america is one large echo chamber and difference of opinion is punished, now globally with the advent of singularity
the internet IS singularity, they just cannot see it yet and i will give every last drop of my blood to affirm this fact, haters can hate, or they can turn their cellphones off. sounds fascist yes but its the good kind of fascist, just like there can be a good kind of communist or any -ist.
american, and to that extent global culture has become fossilised, and since i showed up, fixated. they cannot move on because they know i am making sense, they cannot admit it because they are not ready yet, so i suffer, indeed it is my suffering that is divine and not me
and for all my suffering i am still not a dissident, i must emphasize this, even if i am murdered, it wonât be because they are evil but simply because i proposed something so obvious yet fresh that they could not handle it. its not them its me. but perhaps i wonât be able to love as fully as i intended to because of what had happened, but thatâs what my son shall cover. his love will be all encompassing, unlike mine which became tinged with politics.
i write all this, just to get kicks, knowing that this might never come to fruition, but the big idea is that the âsingularityâ (however defined) will propel us towards some kind of a global governance (super)structure, like a United Nation with teeth on steroids, thus bringing ever more peace and harmony to this tiny planet floating in isolation.
decentralisation doesnât work at institutional levels, as the case of crypto shows, regulated centralisation is the way forward. republicans should appreciate this fact and look at short term sacrifices to be made as necessary for the greater good.
no human right is absolute, not a single right worth sacrifising a life for YMMV
agar jo maine kiya woh karna chahte ho, aur mere jaise banana chahte ho, toh pehle maa baap me bhagwan dekhna shuru karo, unke upar koi bhagwaan nahi. agar ye kar paye toh meri tarah har ek cheez me parmatma dikhne lagega, shayad guru bhi mil jaye.
one mark of insanity is doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results, i tried to change this and bring fresh perspective to the world, the other mark is talking in absolute terms using words like âneverâ, forever or always, if you encounter such sentiment know that you are operating in the realm of unreason. everything is temporary.
what i donât understand is how they plan to make me join an inherently racist, scam-ridden organization which i am dead set to avoid at all costs
so much night, so little oil
swingers and hoes tryna show me the mirror?? lol you can never bring darkness to light, you may bring a light to the dark places though, so i was alright with these guys sticking me where the sun donât shine so much, an amazing spiritual journey up americaâs butthole
aapka haq aapki jeb aur zubaan pe hai, meri jeb me nahi, apna haq maine us din kho diya jis din phone aur laptop utha ke ghar se nikla, ab koi fiqr nahi
the word is not the truth, it is a bond between men and bonds can be broken, there are ways, but the truth is somewhere between what is thought, what actually happens, and what gets penned down, if every living thing dies alone, it makes sense to remain centrist an choose the lesser evil in a world this corrupt.
you can either work in one company for your whole life, or do hundreds of stints throughout your life, it hardly makes a differance when youâre working for mere capitalists, and there arenât many visionaries out there anymore in any industry so i was happy being a driftwood. working and living with my parents was also not optional anymore given the cult.
i had to be somnewhat ruthless with these people because what i was trying to do wasnât strictly moral, so i had to keep things as clean and ethical and would not tolerate the insecure and fence-sitters.
and just like that, i was no more trying to sing a song that could not be sung. deciding to solve for the problems i had rather than the problems i wished i had. to part with âkya ho sakta haiâ and to reach for âhum kya kar sakte hainâ.
the only think i COULD do was to remain as healthy as possible and keep my mind sharp, my skills updated, to remain employable and to keep tinkering regardless of whether i had a job or not.
if you only protest torture but are unable to stop it, you are likely profiting from both the torture (schadenfreude) and the act of protesting against itself (paid protest, kickbaks, corruption), such two-faced people are best avoilded.
i wanted to be a pimp? no i just enjoyed the fantasy very much, just like i enjoyed the fantasy of being a poet but perhaps wasnât as good as i thought i was. and the same goes for other endeavours, i enjoyed failure much more than success because failure was, and still is, very instructive. i even told my parents, in the words of my teacher vinod shastri sir that failure is all mine, success is all yours.
fantasies come with expiration dates, if you remain cautious lest things become an addiction to the point you start doing it with multiple partners and get involved with stronger fetishes like scat and contract venereal diseases. but even a person with VD can be loved if you do it in a principled way, like Foucault.
but aimless sexual experimentation is very much a slippery slope so i kept my desires and needs on a very short leash⊠hence all the porn and masturbation. i was able to do this because i was able to see my wretchedness at a very young age, got ashamed and decided to fight my lust until none or very little remained. in order to arrive here, i had to do a lot of crazy experiments which most people perhaps would scoff or at least reaise eyebrows at.
the same goes for food, i can be gluttonous and have a terrible sweet tooth which i took care of by letting people mess with my food.
iâm proud in the same way the asian dude on wikipediaâs âhumanâ page is proudly giving a full frontal
human being is 200,000 year old first cave art about 40-14 k years old internal combustion 162 years old the internet is about 32 years old
i pray for them, the need all the prayer those who cannot see the potential here, or are too dumbfounded to accept it, or have lost humanity to complexion, money or hatred
my parents are blameless, this stuff isnât worth thier reputation, and iâmm ore than happy to take a bullet or poison to shield them from this. i pray for them as much as they for me.
insecure dusre pe camera lagayega, imandaar apne pe. milta kisi ko kuch nahi end me dono marte hain but we humans are slaves to our identities thus has it always been
only my poverty is real
people are putting web-connected stuff up their butts but old people still think they can stop singularity, no the call for privacy is just the previous generation trying to stay relevant. the sooner there comes an acceptance about singularity, the greater our chance for greater global peace, more transparency and less online hate and crime. a mindless hankering after ephemeral ârightsâ is the mark of a thinking that cannot or does not want to keep with times.
iâm all for data protection, which isnât the same as privacy, my bank still needs to do all it can to keep thieves out, my kids photos still need to be somewhere safe and not on the screens of predators. no, privacy is a whole different ball game than data protection. data protection is possible to an extent, privacy simply isnât. someone may be watching you and reading your thoughts, but that data still might be âsafeâ. in quotes because by and large safety is an illusion and you can die doing anything at anytime.
if someone is hell bent on getting information on you, they still can though.
the best insurance against invasion of privacy is to remain so thoroughly boring nobody could become interested.
being a wip is no excuse to hurt anyone, everyone is a wip, only the anguished cause grief to the other. and if you have inadvertantly, unnkowingly and by mistake brought grief to someone, pretty much the worst thing you can do is try to make better. hit and run away is the best strategy when you donât know what you are doing.
the option now is - lose yourself and gain the world, or keep yourself and eat shit. i choose the latter, of course.
you are only as smart as your interpretations of events, you are only as brave as your faith in others
19 may
finally found this! https://wingedsunrecords.bandcamp.com/album/v-a-a-musical-journey-in-india-wsr06 now i am only looking for that one church bells album
america, i just bought your soul for the cost of my privacy, prepare for your doom
i cannot believe these people, so enamoured by the concept of a ârightâ, entrusted the moral future of their country to the intelligence of a woman with no moral compass whatsoever, what elyisian endings do they expect?
not knowing when to give up is a mark of insanity, keep tempting fate and see the travesty that awaits
20 may
theres no such thing as physically better, physical is just decay. you can prolong it, you can shape it for egoic purposes but the only way one gets better is in the nonmaterial sense. which is the opposite realm of material.
the saddest and most liberating thing about life? the compassion of the common man, who knows heâs being taken for a ride, and knows he can rebel, at any time but doesnât.
women in this century are especially fake, crooked and utterly confused, so much so that it is getting increasingly different to separate them from the crookedness of men. the kindness of women in the century is to be watched out for, for it is usually due to vested interests and isnât genuine. no wonder hillary lost. and all this hankering after equality is further proof that they aspire to the same level of cruelty and malevolence displayed by men since time immemorial. but they lack the brains or the brawns to achieve this, hence i washed my hands and found utter peace in shaping the end of my libido without the use of anotherâs body. indeed anyone thinking about the future of the species and where its headed would stick to porn or prostitues.
i am no saint, but perhaps the mob surrounding and hounding and persecuting me was especially depraved. so i appeared saintly in comparison. wall street was crazy as ever, people suck an the planet missed the human lottery again, wtf else is new?
lying and manipulation and confusion can only grow on increasing in the absence of truth, did they expect otherwise? what fools!
if they are seriously expecting i will ever make physical contact with a woman, intimate or otherwise, they are sadly mistaken. i have humbly bowed out of the whole exchange, thanking everyone for freeing me from the fetters of desire.
theyâve just learnt one word âmuâ and they keep repeating it over and over like a crazed bunch
now death is just a distraction, whatever little drama these guys have planned on the other side means absolutely nothing to me, and i will treat it accordingly.
funny how i canât even tell these people to apologize to their ancestors, for their ancestors were also racist, i can only imagine that they apologise to the coming generations who are weaker and hapless, but nobody gives a fuck so nothing changes.
the only reason these people are around, and expect me to change, is that they are morally bankrupt and emotionally empty and think that by sticking around they might learn behaviours they can emulate or something, otherwise there is no reason to continue to torture me/watch me and family die for no reason ⊠maybe religious sentiments are involved ⊠maybe there is the anticipation that there will pop out something on the other side that they can then race to claim.. however, no such thing will happen, if they want to change they must start thinking about the species as a whole instead of thinking about themselves alone.
from thinking OF yourself to thinking FOR yourself
these people are all about âaccumulatingâ, in other words collecting, could i collect another second of not smoking? accumulation is the name of their hustle, and anyone who can accumulate something is respected, however, in my case the accumulation is of stuff that they want, iâd rather smoke another cigarette, because i stopped collecting stuff in high school. but something else is also accumulating within me, something that i canât get rid of for it is the natural inversion of my tapasya.
accumulation = sorrow, this is why i like smoking, it is the antithesis of accumulating, for that matter even masturbation is the same, this is the reason i am happy, and the reason i attract assholes and losers so huge theyâre fit to be politicians
come to think of it, even software is the opposite of accumulation in the material sense, in software the order that arises isnât physical at all but has a bearing on the material world. frequent flyer miles anyone? no, i like to piss it all away and laugh while the world takes it all so seriously.
dhyan batora nahin jaata. ya toh hai ya nahi. aur jab hai toh kuch aur batorne ko reh nahi jaata
the human lottery cannot be won by all at the same time, only individuals win it
i would like to apologize to the world for cumming so much in public view, it was either this or going berserk given what these mofos are pulling off, lest i become like them or start hating and hurting others like them⊠better to rub one out as needed
iâm no saint i just have higher moral standards than most of the worldâs population
21 may
i saw man becoming irrelevant in the 21st century, so i proposed man 2.0, but the cats werenât ready
so my life became a hustle to end all hustles, an unjust, uncanny, and uncivil opinion being broadcasted across the planet
22 May
27 may
whole right wrist has flared up, its burning/itching and i suspect foul play
so i thank these people for giving me an opportunity to witness their humanity and for being vulnerable
i thank them and bow for helping me feel alive as i have been feeling dead self
success is a game meant for those without the ability or imagination to thoroughly piss off the majority
#ssf i shot a curiously inspired piece of narrative into the web and it caught on in the most unexpected of ways
#ssf wall-street + ego
- #storysofar #hurtpeoplehurtpeople or, happy people donât go hunting for turnips #ssf
#storysofar mujhe bhagwaan yaad aye, aur aise aaaye ki aa hi gaye #ssf
#storysofar i performed a skit for a grooming gang #ssf
#storysofar i did a dangerous thing with style #ssf
#storysofar HOAX! #ssf
#storysofar fatal strategies #ssf #storysofar uncanny valley made palatable with cringe #ssf
#storysofar some people understand after blood is spilled, others not even then #ssf
#storysofar trying to give them something you donât have and they donât want #ssf
#storysofar some people attacked a monk, others tried to sell tickets to the show #ssf #storysofar uncanny valley made palatable with cringe #ssf
#storysofar do not suppress the truth in the event of a leak, resist nothing #ssf
#storysofar someone invented the calendar and everyone agreed it was a good thing, but there are different ways to measure time #ssf
one kind of parenting is not so better than the other, it all comes down to the quality of love in a world where nothing is 100%
negating yourself is a way to bow, so i decided to bow out in real-time
trust me its a drug like no other, having seen the venerable one himself
civilisations will clash in newer ways with tech, not all wars will be recorded, especially not the ones without bloodshed
part culture part war game, part science, part beyond
reading christian scripture as a student of comparative religion i did not find any instruction agaist offering oneself up for observation
these are not kind or forgiving people, however my parents may bep rofiting off them
i hope that these people never reach a consensus and keep tempting fate, i hope they purge me out of existence, keep feeding me shit, keep me deliberately poor and ostracise me and keep torturing me because they are confused about what religion means to them.. when they stop doing all this is when i shall take my final vows
there are two crises facing the west today, crises of meaning and crises of #leadership, both can end with a frank and honest dialogue about what is to be done, but these people are money and power hungry, and thatâs the legacy theyâre passing to their children
you may not buy the adage âhurt people, hurt peopleâ but surely, happy people donât go about torturing others. real men mind their own business and as WH Auden said, âthose who have violence done to them do violence in returnâ, so itâs easy to forgive these people because they come from violent, lustful, drug addled, and promiscuous backgrounds while i was just a zen bloke who could not defend himself against money and power.
the internet IS the kingdom of god in some senses, but ultimately like everything real, the virtual is also an illusion
trying to change another is the first and perhaps only sign of self-hatred, i donât seek to change anyone so i donât evangelize, though my thoughts might cause someone to learn something
my mind is the theater of an infinite war. look at me, i am precisely the person civilizations run into on their way towards apocalypse and annhilation. and when the doom is of biblical proportions, they mock and ridicule me for no logical reason. and when their doom is imminent, they torture and murder me for no logical reason. and when their doom is permanent, they watch my elders pass into the next world, alerting me from the beyond about their fate.
an empire built on fakeness ran into the single source of truth illuminating the entire universe, obviously could not handle it
not âthis too shall passâ or is passing or has passed but âthis never happennedâ
the character of a nation is determined by the quality of its women
pretty sure the brit in kolkata whom i rescued from the hospital was MI6 or something, how scripted the whole play was i still cannot estimate, but it was a real gritty, atmospheric episode.
data canât really be stolen, it can be copied however, and you may lose it if you are especially lazy or careless, but thatâs what makes it transcendent.
it is next to impossible for humanity to go extinct, folks may continue the bickering in space still, but what makes evolution transcendent is that it canât really be stopped, and history though it moves in horizontal and linear loops, there is an undeniable trajectory âoutwardsâ, some may call it progress.
progress is inevitable, growth is optional
which direction to grow in is too important to be left to other/society alone, so discent which whispers to listen to, especially if the outside world is indifferent to your cause.
if the world is hostile to your cause, keep quiet and humbly prove your point of view, an eye for an eye brings apocalyse.
i bring the lace, you bring the curtain
two kinds of negro in america, and one of them is actually dark skinned
the ONLY reason i went ace is I could never bring myself to trust another human again, lest the cult that enveloped me and had its mind set on making me sick by luring me only to give me AIDS or other STD, who knew? therefore i decided to stay ace. i must say here that the cult members were probably not that bad but i decided to practice precaution and retired my lust, which was sth on my bucket list anyway.
really i have nothing against women, or men for that matter
by now i was sure father has enough money to buy a painless death for all four of us, so these twats may continue with their attention seeking twattery and show us how much they really love us
i am, essentially, a surprise artist
in any political vaccum, the nearest asshole can commandeer the narrative enough to gain power
its a cult until there is some legal action, my family, the four of us, should all pray that these people find the peace they are looking for in us - we should constantly repeat, may god give their souls the rest they need. we were already at peace, so they gave some money which we should be thankful for and thats it. however they wish to end this cult is on them, we should co-operate to the extent humanly possible.
thanks for coming to my ted talk, the title was : âwaiting for aliens, or why humanity isnât there yetâ
i realised after much suffering that the reason for much of this bs around me was a great lack of a great teacher within me, so i went on a journey and a crow showed up and i didnât need another one to be a disciple to after that.
my thoughts are not my own but responses conditioned out of me by my lame ass stalkers, i claim no responsibility or authority over them except as a channel and care not to pen them down or clothe them in language for i see them as nothing more but a representation of repressed emotion over my physical and mental torture. had my pussy ass stalkers been jolly fellows this apocalyptic coloring book might well have been more pollyanna-ish, sadly however my detractors belonged to a rapidly declining civilization thus could not be helped. maybe they just wanted to take an honest, unafraid family down with them. still i will fight till my last breath, trying to redeem the irredeemable may sound like a foolâs errand, but is its own reward.
i think pappu is conflating coercion with pressure, both are evidence of his cowardice and neither is a successful strategy for what he wants, whats more i am not inclined to help him with this attitude and might as well continue managing the nightmare
if the game is not making them happy, why keep playing?
i am the first slave of the new new world
the us had its kodak moment at the expense of me and my family and we were grateful for it
who allows us to call anything âprivateâ? surely it is not a right one gives to oneself for an individual canât keep things secret from themselves and indeed there is no need to. so the idea or concept of âpersonalâ originates with the idea of the âotherâ, and the internet has done much to dilute the other.
#lessonslearnt understimating anotherâs level of satisfaction can get dangerous
HANLONâS / OCCAMâS
#lessonslearnt christian countries can never truly achieve the separation of state from church because christianity is a kind of politics
#lessonslearnt the hallmark of a dying western civilisation is the âpurgeâ where one individual is singled out and tortured to death
#lessonslearnt writing is the greatest stressbuster and a great way to escape, it is probably good for mental health too
#fewerwordsfor âat the mercy of obsessing entitiesâ
#lessonslearnt easy come, easy go
being human in the 21st century means you are already married to the species, so learn to savour the abuse fwiw
death is perhaps the only thing about which it can be definitively said that the medium is not the message conversely, death is the only thing where the medium is indeed the message in some absolute and final sense
i can admit i was appalled by witnessing a level of jelousy i didnât think i was capable of, think of how much more others have? people are capable of anything, man is to be feared
i seem to be getting rich people problems, back to meditation
mujh me heenta nahi hai its all brainwashing, advertising. but i was humbled, and badly injured over naught
fantasy whitehouse was worth playing, especially after losing everything
choiceless awareness is the ghee of spiritual experiences
they fill you with hate, or at least try to
i chose to forgo carrying on the grounds of ptsd
#ssf someone knocked my noughin with a satellite and i erupted on the planet with positive energy so massive it had to controlled by billionaires on the other end of the planet, i lost all privacy for it?
#ssf my tragedy was i spooked the wrong guy
#ssf death by design
#ssf peopleâs moods and emotions are cyclical, one moment to the next they are capable of thinking their way into drama loops, at the micro level behaviour is largely a sham? all behaviour is indoctrination, disregard all behaviour, much less the labels ppl put on different kinds of human behaviour.
##ssf maybe i survived because i wasnât too idealistic and moulded myself in the oven.
##ssf cake < waffles
#ssf did i really eat or did i just shove food in?
#ssf i said to the planet, âas you wereâ
#ssf new song
#ssf i chose to bow out of the beef and obseserve them observing me
#ssf a faustian tale forestalled?
#ssf entertaining notions
#ssf i needed to shut the fuck up
#ssf since when?
#ssf jiski lathi uski bhains?
#ssf some people decided to wait
#ssf i was free to work on my experiments again, my captors were seeing a kindness within them perhaps they didnât think they were capable of, my wounds were bigger now
#ssf the whole planet told me to calm down
#ssf i preferred being the change, as opposed to merely changing
#ssf mom and pop opened a store named âfeel free to hurt usâ
#ssf screens, second-screens, and masks
#ssf i fucked up good
#ssf unconsciousness is the same thing as thinking youâre the only one alive most of the time, at other times it is the opposite
#ssf i did preach to a crowd, canât deny, but my suggestions were so wild that perhaps they couldnât stomach. i couldnât do anything, also seemed like a good opportunity to preach as a theatricality, it was worth risking the wrath of a racist cabal. iâd do it again.
the teachable moments grew every day in number
#ssf homosexual propaganda
#ssf witness my grief, i had to write an epic out of running into a crow
#ssf dad was more emotionally distant then before, i hoped he was not being held against his will, all this running after money? or was there sth else⊠perhaps i will never find these things out about the cult, it was just a dead mouse to play with.
#ssf perhaps it bothered my father that i was changing, i wonder if he was being paid per word to say these things or what
#ssf conair is a perfect example of homosexual propaganda, very foulcaut but kids watching these movies have never read foucault so they donât even know what theyâre watching and get conditioned as a result, i was consuming propaganda too but one that increasingly felt like a light lasso around my neck. i was at their mercy for all intents and purposes and there wasnât a damn thing i could do about it.
#ssf my mantra towards deep surveillance was that of casual acceptance but i too struggled with the uncanny valley, lack of blame towards the other is how i ended up in this mess in the first place, i was never one to abuse people but lately i found a little anger in the deepest recesses of my being, even i didnât know i could cause such ruckus, so did not really blame myself for what had happenned.
#ssf i managed to find a way to philosophize at the moneylendersâs table and became the village idiot for it
#ssf i fell in love with my saamadhi as a sadhu, which i should not. samadhi should be clean from such two-bit notions as love.
#ssf sexless village idiot in a loveless 2 rs cult
#ssf if someone restores my status as a citizen i may consider circumcision
#ssf queer eye for the pervert
the world is a stone waiting to be carved out of me
singulariy 1.0 was also democracy 2.0
for me the mantra became to THINK SLOWLY!, to make love to death before the next thought
republicans are so tribal, to them even potus is but a mask
my parentsâ mariagge had come under much strain, if not a dead end , which was chaffing me. but i did not want to influence their decision so i took kicks to the stomach in a corner
its not that i couldnât be bought, everything has a price - i was willing to comply but i wanted my vote in things, especially decisions around my life even though in most economic sense by now the crowd (and i say this not without some restraint) owned me and parents for all intents and purposes. such was the surveillance and scrutiny we as a family were subjected to, especially me because i was deliberately kept out of the loop. because, i WAS the looop.
it was interesting to actually see the world become better through my thoughts, if one person becoming one with the world could do so much damage, what could two?
improbability drive: the hoax/cult around me was gaining traction with each passing breath, the media was not done cooking us up in the soup that would be served online later, suffice it to say this was not a pipe dream anymore, a number of difference things could happen, at least divorce seemed imminent.
one of the scenarious, i was told with 70% certainty was me ending up in a hospital, in which case i could expect some sympathy, otherwise it seemed by now a goverment approved operation
as an anarchist, i donât believe the âcollectiveâ exists, there is no âgroupâ of humans, only common interests
was i always a rebel? not really, rebellion was a reaction to the narcissistic abuse from a young age, i wasnât exactly always a victim, i gave as good as i got, sometimes better, even though my with was general, i remained memorable for my unique crusade against the accepted norm and suggestion of revolution at every step. because i was better for the revolution i created within.
anyone who comes alive in any true sense will have enemies, do yout think any sort of enlightenment is without enemy in todayâs world? you can sit doing nothing and still be attacked!
no art without pain
all news is news of death, to move is to brodcast it
-> âBEHOLD MY GARDEN OF FUCKS AND SEE THAT IT IS BARRENâ
#ssf death was democracy 0.0.1, we are only ever iterating
#ssf perhaps enlightenment is simply enough neurons of a certain persuasion âfiring togetherâ,but i cant just be a scalar value ⊠perhaps it is the frequency with which they do so, or maybe even both
i cant claim i am quite there yet but it feels darn close.
#ssf this money made no sense to me i gave it to others, and was happier owning nothing
#ssf physical health aside, my own downfall would be to stray from my principles
#ssf one question after #thinkslowly is âis this an completely new thought?â much of dirty conscious mind is
#ssf very next reaction to #thinkslowly âfollow the breathâ
#ssf i ate poison for the sake of some women and their dubious dignity and was happier for it
#ssf i had for a while at least a vantage point to judge everyone from, but the judgements drained after a while and only initial impressions remained, like a distant mirage
#ssf jew pullled a train over me, done me a fast one
#ssf i had been had
one reason to put all this down was for old age entertainment, but it didnât seem like i would get there now :(
#ssf they basically owned me and my family and the rest of dera bassi, these people had come to aquire a rare means of fooling themselves about and giving themselves frights, and i wondered how dark things were gonna get, but they tried, the try is worth in itself
#ssf was waiting for my tracksuit, maybe chrismas eve though i had been a good boy, but not especially good
#ssf in the eyes of at least some members of society i could have been considered a criminal, even though i had no recourse and especially because i wasnât exactly known for not subverting the law every chance i got
#ssf i was already buried so deep in my own bs, couldnât be bothered about anything, perhaps this was just a way of my body following its physical arc over the lifetime, had i peaked? no, i had crashed, and it was a spectacle behold, even if respectable people didnât consider a rape of human rights, a fresh soiling of the constitution of two countries at least. a damn farce if there ever was one. but wall street bs paled in comparison to my own bs.
#ssf was it really all that unfair to me? this much ecstasy? no, i deserved it
#ssf i was in no mood to give in to intimidation or pressure, it only made things worse, i would have considered their honest opinions, but no, this was not to be, i didnât just feel helplessness, i invited it
#ssf this was the start of a new chapter in the illuminati conspiracy theory, were we truly all so above the law that this could go on?
#ssf women have often tried risking everything to dissuage a holy man, sometimes it works but sometimes it doesnât but i lacked the capacity to take things personally inside a myth so i was happy to suffer whatever they had planned to put me through, but still i wondered how it must be someone can be so publically humiliated and yet carry on with indifference, how dead on the inside were these people? i guess i had only to find out.
#ssf these people had every intention to fuck me and fuck over and put a bullet or two in my head, but i carried on with the same indifference, both unable and unwilling to change for a random mob
#ssf the state offers security but most people donât die for the lack of it, instead the security creates work for itself in a capitalistic fashion and wars are born. so in absence of wars, the state offers social security, which is a preferable solution, not in the least for
#ssf perhaps they were incredulous over their need for religion which they saw reflected in me. really how many jesus and judases must come and go before people learn? i try to keep opinion to self.
#ssf i know i had touched a nerve in the global consciousness but was unable to promote it due to paucity of funds, which was more or less because of the total surverillance and sensing i was persistently subject to.
#ssf having at least paved the way for a new #leadership was a bit thrilling even from so far away, though i was too busy in my spiritual ecstasy to pay any impending disease or deformity any mind. i had already opened up fully.
#ssf these people were wise in staying away not messing directly, i couldnât be trusted around myself.
#ssf novelty faded
#ssf no software is perfect, remember its all rococo, do not completely identify with the coder/cs guy type
#ssf i should be eating more to solve these peopleâs problems, eat more humble pie and and become sick and disgusting like them
#ssf ever diminishing return
#ssf i think i peaked in navadhaâs lap at marine drive
in the manifest, nothing is a part of everything, in the unmanifest everything is a part of nothing and the unmanifest is bigger than the manifest so one can say that manifest is part of the unmanifest so it looks something like
i do not expect westerners to understand enlightenment, so i have no expectations from them but then i canât even explain my growing happiness to myself, its at the point where pain becomes something i look forward to⊠and the next spectacle to gift to the world grows within me while these fools play with my food, water and light, having no clue what my subconscious has in store for them
throughout history, people who have told the truth in any capacity have had to pay a hefty price, i was no different
the logic of temptation is always, âyou will die anyway, why not get rich, become someone while you are at itâ, but i was too spritual to be bothered with becoming someone, i had found my peace in being the ultimate nobody, a croupier watching the world spin in and out of control day in and day out.
by now, people had started offering death itself, perhaps an easy death if i did their bidding, but thatâs no way to live. i prefer to go my own way
my interpretation of what Ekhart Tolle calls âpain bodyâ is that pain and body are two different things, identified as one by the observer. ego insulates pain from body, in an egoless terrain, pain and body become one.
it is possible to exist inside absent bodies as much as it is possible, to entertain virtual pains. all pain is virtual-in-physical, infact, and it seems that thereâs a threshold where the virtual-in-physical becomes the physical-in-virtual, and may you who read these words for you suffer from pain of any kind understand that there is a time-resolution for consciouness to bypass identification with each cell. though it will take some practice to get there, it is entirely possible.
#ssf i ate military-grade surveillance, and excreated war, then started to clean up after myself, the very next realisation is against speed, speed thrills, #thinkslowly
#ssf no undertakings, all undertakings are loss making, a soul at peace wonât create without calculating the odds
#ssf first world ran out of problems, or in search of new ones
#ssf not quite the casual cargo cult
#ssf was i really ready to die for an imaginary cause? no i was flexible, but this opportunity couldnât be seized by hardened hearts
#ssf living at the gallows
#ssf america was still a slave colony, except they had hidden it well.. from blacks being slaves to becoming slave owners
building a sentient machine isnât an engineering problem anymore, itâs a political problem
âïž nobody knows the real name of the tantrik, some say he is a mendicant named atmaram dutt from the banks of ganges
#ssf i became convinced there was a focus group somewhere
#ssf it wasnât as if in a world full of conflict our cries for peace went totally unheard, what matters is we shouted at the top of our lungs while we could
#ssf my whole life became a single moment of clarity
#ssf enlightenment is a never ending war
#ssf something so unique
if life is worth it we should multiply, but i had sensed risk in doing so so i stayed single, moreover already had a strong spiritual inclination so it came easy
#ssf suffering fools gladly
#ssf the experiment was a successful foray into, among other things, evolutionary biology, sociology, international relations, guerilla diplomacy, BCI, data policy and political science, not to mention racism and other mental disorders, PTSD, fetishes, late capitalism, psychology of religion, wall street culture, politics of identity, white collar financial crime, cults and conspiracies, the occult.
#ssf the way to find god is to defeat him at his own hide-and-seek
#ssf RULE NUMBER TWO improve the quality of your thoughts, its a lot like pushing around containers in the mind
#ssf agar ek bhi insan mein allah hai, toh sabhi me hai
if taking out mental trash has become a daily activity, you need better thoughts and are possibly in an emotionally unhealthy environment.
#ssf these people had planned for everything it seemed, i was told to cruise, the labyrinths were numbed, my task was to just pretty and watch porn, i felt entitled which made me correct myself
#ssf i was an entitled asshole mocking the world out there from my transparent box and it was somehow worth it
#ssf cults with money had an influcence on global culture, the exception will become the rule through culture, culture is the extra in capitalism, but i am not in favour of a culure of crisis, nor one of undeserved jubilation, culture is literally, like yeast, helping make the pie grow. for me culture was king, something deserving of wide appropriation.
#ssf i basked in the glory of success
#ssf my (political) survival depended upon my creativity in appearing to play dead
#ssf someone wants me to see individual actions as propaganda, mother doesnât understand anything so she plays along, but ideally one should be able to do what one wishes, however these people have the strap around my neck pretty tight, so it became necessary to cooperate. my actions should in no way dictate what others do or want to do, i will follow my own personal interest first - and for me, carrying out social orders was of primal importance because i didnât want anyone to hurt themselves because of me, but people have a penchant for shooting themselves in the foot and blaming me for it, this is everyoneâs story. at the same time, the social imperative was but the tip of the iceberg.
#ssf chains everywhere, all religions preached kindness and all were violent, love and empathy were nothing more than a cancer survivors, which made one angry and want to nuke everything etc. humanity had decided bad was good and bad was spreading, in some macro level there was stasis, but at a smaller level, i thought i saw shadows of war crawling across and pissing on walls of indifference, the dark parts of the world became more neurotic, as if wanting to devour it all at once. the dumb got dumber but the smart grew smarter. i guess accessing a higher orders of consciouness comes at the price of the lower ones, there is no way around it.
#ssf having political aspirations is fine, but what about people with ideological aspirations, women who donât know what theyâre doing but doing it still may have had their reasons but my reasons were better, my intentions benign, hence the cult.
#ssf cults that arise out of a political stunt are no more powerful than cults that form around miracles
#ssf any individual will not fit the bill exactly, people are a connundrum, donât try to understand OR any misguided attempt to âknowâ someone is likely to fail, you cannot know the other, you are only observing yourself.
#ssf mostly i cannot write unless i am high, this needs to change
#ssf if i wanted more freedom, i needed more rules, but i didnât want more freedom, freedom to do what? there was no mistake left worth making besides putting down these words in the hopes that they improve me.
#ssf i was just ferrying my parents across life and felt good about it
#ssf found myself praying to become a dry fire today, this prayer could be repeated
was i really trying to do business inside what was for all intents and purposes a cult? no i was not, i was merely trying to come up with new creative ideas to pass the time while likely being poisoned.
if i was a superhero, iâd be house or sabu
i write all this thinking it would be fun to read it back one day
#ssf i got caught shouting âyou are freeâ on the internet.
#ssf unwittingly, i had become a thorn in some eye and an object of ridicule at the same time, the mob around me insisted on not trusting anyone and demanded total trust at the same time, strange? not at all, itâs all ancient games and tribal rituals.
#ssf the reason i didnât want money was there are very few to earn it without either duping or exploiting someone, the few honest ways that remain are still tainted with taxation and trials by social media.
#ssf only the weak assert power by messing with a manâs food, as a man you should not have too strong attachment to what you eat, or are being fed. in some stories, the kings are poisoned, in others, philosophers. breaking identification with food is hard especially in india where the food is so tasty.
#ssf information tech spreads democracy and some people had to eat shit as a result, i ate with pride and the splendor of kings, i ate and drank the humanity of people on the other side of the planet, and i did it without gloating or complaining as a service to humanity.
#ssf the world is feedback, one tends to get exactly what one deserves whether one complains about it or not
it is easy to bless ones we donât respect but love nonetheless, like mothers, the spiritually weak, little children, homosexuals and nasty women, cowards and those who represent them, and billionaires. the true grind is blessing the ones we both love and respect, like fathers, precocious youths, philsophers and royalty, celebrities.
life had become a thoroughly anachronistic, apocryphal artifact.
i used big words so people thought i was a crack
i knew already that these people will stop at nothing but i will, i have stopped and found in stopping, a peaceful end to the narrative at large, whoever was interested in keeping the play on was dealing with my infinite passivity
all left for me to do for the rest of my short life was to bless everyone and everything that i saw
the mob, which gathered around me as a result of extreme spiritual practices, was strenghtening me for the final event of death, and were therefore angels
every angel is an angel of death
my parents taught me to suffer fools gladly so i did that was the extent of my ambition
Morning - healing meditation
jo nahin dekh sakte use dekhne pe hi jo nahi dikh sakta woh dikhayi dega
prayers and love for materially and sexually unfulfilled women everywhere
realization loves practice
hated by the brave? expect glory! hated by cowards? expect politics, foul play, and manipulation.
thereâs more reasons to be afraid when hated by jelous cowards than there are when the enemy is bold or brave
it is not as if i am waiting to refuse them, these âmasters of the universeâ who offer me âkeys to the kingdomâ, i am not waiting to refuse them so they may start hurting me, it is already the case that they have been hurting me since day one and now i want nothing from them. so i sit and i meditate, eating one meal a day and praying the lord to forgive these fools.
i do not except anything less than a world full of pain and misery, that will be my salvation
death threats and attempted murder will eventually turn into reality, i just have sit, wait and watch while the world works hard at uniting me with my maker
my death will be but an enactment, for i died long before my body passed into the unmanifest
consciousness is like a sphere upon which the present conscious thought is a singular point
post this spiritual lobotomy, i could not tell exactly how fresh my thoughts were, whereas hitherto i was under the illusion that at least some of them were original, now that illusion had morphed into a question about the precise magnitude of remaining freedom and a desire to observe this realisation further.
#ssf i prefer to die over a paltry sum of money than god of any religion
#ssf a never ending lesson in humility
#ssf my motto is live for god, die over pennies
#ssf was i really going to start in a business inside an open conspiracy? hell no i prefer to stick to my lonewolf consulting firm (TM)
#ssf why were people mean to me? because i deserved it, i may look like a bitch but i am not one, why did this mob attack me? i invited them, my father invited them! why am i so afraid then? because i am shell shocked.
#ssf i decided to make a habit out of observing this spherical-shaped consciousness rather than any particular thought at any given time. this âfeelingâ was new and i wondered if it was my body reminding me that i had ingested a âbholaâ, that ugly looking and worse tasting ball of joy that i sometimes pop just to piss the system off,
#ssf was it truly the case that someone was trying to hurt me? no people simply didnât care, and thank goodness they didnât, it was a close shave
#ssf my sannyas was absolute, samadhi stronger, at least the question of fornication didnât arise anymore, but you never can tell with these folks, i want the world to know i was helpless, the punishment didnât fit the crime, so i carried a sense of injustice within, which was new and antithetical to my spirituality. i decided to surgically separate this damaging sense of guilt and shame i was being offerred, for nearly half a decade now, and to replace it with dyan, where the sphere of consciousness also disappearsâŠin doing so i will have concoted a more interesting samadhi.
#ssf at gunpoint i would have recanted most of my beliefs, i was well aware of what the western civilisation is capable of, especially for such a metaphysical crime, so i had to lay low and cooperate to the extent possible. most of my opinions were not that dear to me.
#ssf certain members of society were perhaps aware of the absolute hopelessness of the situation but when nature reveals itself it is merciless, i had merely broken a new wall into the narrative of humanity as a whole, no wonder nobody wanted to admit it. i had declared singularity, this was a non-negotiable belief, and i was drawn and quartered virtually over stating it, ostracised and malaigned, virtue-shamed, abused for years, but it was all in the game.
#ssf even though i was relatively not so well-to-do, i was able to play new games with billionaires on the other side of the planet, this much ego i had, or was it just my self-respect?
#ssf if they were asking where i would like to die, always close to my parents, obviously
#ssf maybe dad wanted me to do better, but i was so satisfied with life that i simply couldnât be bothered, this was more than i could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams, and i was cool if he was, the rest was just narrative and stories.
#ssf sannyas/samadhi
#ssf the neverending ted talk
#ssf log mujhe dekh ke pareshaan
#ssf veham
#ssf conscious unemployment had messed me up july 2022, i needed rituals and routines but i was not the most disciplined fellow, i operated without intention and this was a necessary scaffolding for spiritual programming but had come to
#ssf MY LIFE WAS AN ACT OF SERVICE TO GENERALLY EVERYONE AND SOME PEOPLE IN PARTICULAR
#ssf i saw the world get better in places, some of the most interesting people out there take an interest in me, i saw humanity as a whole soften and evolve in âreal timeâ, though this was not the last war nor the last disease on the planet, my life was no dubious joke it was in fact, still the only game in town, hence we had to downplay its veracity. overall, not a bad act, i would congratulate myself had this freshly kindled fire within not engulfed me.
#ssf lately i was being nudged to dance a certain way
#ssf in some sense we were all dead, every single human being on earth was a dead person
#ssf The US was at a really strange point in its history, but for India it was business as usual, I was scared of what was at stake but perhaps my style betrayed my own countreymen towards me, I was glad corruption existed so that such bullshit could be dealt with. i felt i had overstayed my welcome on the planet already. But it felt like the whole world was recording me for purposes of science and commerce, and this brush with the military-industrial complex left me with a unique vantage point from which to observe the âtheyâ. This somewhat significant other was tired as an old woman, who had for reasons curious to every living thing, decided to exert worth more than the three centuries she had lived through, and now thought itself respectable and without any enemy except me. But I heard it through the grapevine that the knives were already drawn and with baited breath they waited for my exit so that the open secret could be discussed more openly? What stopped them during my lifetime?. Still, it was certainly being communicated by the powers that be that the only unextinguished fire was the one that burned within. Because I had single-handedly offered a different version of the possible future to money, so obviously money was pissed, but therein is the folly for this âcrossroadsâ is an untenable one, there is only one way forward for a civilsation that has seen to the precise extent it has fallen, and thereâs still some more to go. this is where things get nuclear, in what i can only label as my âideologyâ. before saying the hanumanâs name just remember once how this cult started, not that it matters to you, but in their tribal needs they had appropriated someoneâs dreams, and replaced dreams with honey-glazed water lilies.
#ssf The US is and always was a godless and violent country, if i was able to entertain and become a part of its culture, what does it say about me? Was there any doubt why I chose to continue only with the humdrum part of life after this encounter?
#ssf self effacing service
#ssf phony ass fairy tale
#ssf remix artists get no respect, but i was inspiringly different
#ssf writing the internal bs out was an excellent therapy
#ssf a dogâs bark can be the gayest thing ever
#ssf i was in the market for ideas for an app to take commercial (donationware), even though it wasnât probably going to be an pleasurable experience unless i decided to make it so, i was CURIOUS đ. See RULE NUMBER 6
#ssf i could endure absolute soul-crushing spiritual level solitude because i had seen better days
#ssf the things (fear of) retirement does to a banker
#ssf there is no 50% âfoundâ itâs a binary value judgement not a âmeasureableâ fact of matter
#ssf the media can speak through your parents if they are bought, or selfish or emotionally immature, nobody had a handle on this situtation so i couldnât complain, mine were just standing by their own honor system
#ssf the more deeper i went into my meditation, the more i paid for it with taunts, but the good news was that it was not death threats anymore
#ssf was there really an attempt? i wondered
#ssf i asked them to do their worse and they did it, they killed me, kenny was thoroughly dead and loving it.
#ssf i felt helpless like i was merely a body being hauled for nefarious purposes of the rich, the self or ego had long since evaporated, but i no longer agreed with my victimhood so much, i was just as helpless as everyone else in this situation
#ssf i felt like an alien visiting humans as punishment for losing a bet
#ssf i took five years to find out there wasnât much difference between ideology and masturbation, naming itself is a fetish
#ssf my parents love was real, at least this much was true, i was truly blessed. their love and sacrifice were real regadless of how long their marriage lasted
#ssf i was saved from the sin but the lust remained, not even being internationally broadcast could deter me from watching porn and masturbating, i do not care for shame it is but a word invented to keep others in check. At the same time there is a sort of hegelian frustration within me for not being able to become âdryâ because although PMO is a morally reprehensible act only in cultures where religion sanctions or endorses reproduction and I have decided to go the distance alone.
#ssf mission accomplished
#ssf âBeliefs are ideas going baldâ
a diplomat will tell you to go to hell in a way that youâll actually look forward to the visit, but a philosopher would make you feel right at home wherever you may be
it isnât the case that the US had become a police state, just that i was a philosopher par excellence
i donât think the man who invented the wheel or fire got away with it easily, there is no problem like a solution
Tuchmanâs Law : The fact of being on the record makes it appear continuous and ubiquitous whereas it is more likely to have been sporadic both in time and place.
God seems to have a penchant for the small, the infinitesimal, the details that make up the grandeur of everyday life, like a boat â” that takes on the mighty ocean, maybe God is an intelligence navigating this vast nothingness.
#ssf consider yourself dead
all the world is, is but an advertisement for godâs promise of what can be, trouble is people buy into it in varying degrees
#ssf yolo but i donât
the westâs undoing was rapid technological change coupled with slow shift in attitudes towards it, theoretically these guys are still stuck in the gold rush mentality where thereâs a finite amount of the precious metal to go around, playing narrow minded closed-ended games and when defeated, resorting to ego conditioned to believe in racial superiority etc. this is what i sought to change, to disrupt, and in this a moderate amount of success was afforded to me.
broadcasted divinity of one individual reflects the divinity in all, conditioned ânon-believersâ (who couldnât even tell you what it was they didnât believe in let alone why) were appalled at this obviously.
massage to the kids- play for the sake of playing, âwinningâ is a pedestrian, American concept. Nobody ever really wins anything here, from Alexander to Marcus Aurelius all go empty handed. Winning is for the Donald Trumps of the world. Nobody ever changed the world for the better by winning.
i donât understand, if physically hurting my body and sending me to the icu gave them back their imagined ârightâ, they couldâve just beaten me up, why this elaborate and expensive scheme? if driving me sick over the long term is their motive⊠what would they gain? their moneyâs worth? confirmation of racial superiority? confirmation of the power of theor wealth? nothing makes any sense
i have no beef with big pharma, infact i am a fan, but people misuse drugs which is just shameful
iâm making nothing
i must not depend on funds my family is receiving for participating in this cult, i must make efforts to become self-reliant however dumb it might feel, even if the only effort i can make is make it comfortable for others - leave even a cult better than i found it
tumhe yaad aayi ye baat to kaafi ha
donât give yourself airs, all sex is sex in a prison
everything-is-a-prison mental model
i have no beef with the cybersecurity industry, in fact am glad to be the exception that proves a need
cant forget that if this were the 90s, my whole family would probably have been dead by now
#ssf i was trapped by a grooming gang
#ssf my last challenge to the world would be for everyone to find their original face, its one of the hardest things you can do as a human.
a short prayer for humanity: your face is my face, your face is pure and beautiful.
i am the wolf that dreamt it was a snake, or vice versa
it was fun to watch this show while it lasted
the real tragedy here is how badly i wanted to fuck everyone in the cult, but was never going to
the difference is logon ki jimmadriyan bhi udhaar hain
now the real danger begins, now they may start to look back at the story and loop to the start, anyone trying to make sense of any random chain of events should first loop back to the start, chronology is perhaps more instructive than historyâs narrative. iâm lucky in the sense that decisions are hard to reverse. the key to this story is in the very beginning.
my playbook is an emergent epic, only those who have a better vision may fight it
Project âBlack Featherâ
how can i give up now? when it has come to the point where even if i ever was to leave my own parents i would leave them better than i had found them
my sister made me a better man than i was
MENTAL HEALTH ALERT!!!! â ïžâ ïžâ ïžâ ïžâ ïžâ ïž this kind of stuff makes me grateful to the meditation practice, would i have recognised this madness pattern enough to break it had it not been for meditation? i doubt. it may however happen that the narrative iâm carrying dissolves into a bad LSD trip for me, maybe a break from aural simulation was needed.
the pain in my dick is telling me that the history of gods has begun, mere humans cannot stomach this obviously so thanks for the torture
this is the end of science
not exacty an insult to point out the divinity in the jew, but it ainât a compliment either
THAW - time heals all wounds
lead, follow, or get out of the way? mostly i just get out of the way, the #leadership follows.
what else is there outside of mind and body
NUCLEAR MILKSHAKE
i have no clue whats going on so i must relax
it isnât the case that through meditation one can achieve enlightenment, rather that an enlightened individual will find joy in little else except meditation
after about a week of formal regular meditation i started getting glimpses.. short lived palpable, visceral visions of the future, the very near future at first.. i was completely sober and by this time i had more or less written off drugs and alcohol, even was not smoking a whole cigarette every time i lit one
subjectivity is a luxury i can no longer afford
mujhe bardaasht karne ke liye abhar
#MENTALHEALTH THINK ABOUT OTHERS STILL! (or not)
real-time enlightenment, obviously early
you were real even without the makeup
at 37, the âwashington-whispererâ as he later came to be known, had alreaddy injected himself, slipstreamed even into a global political consiousness while trying to survive cabals which constituted everyone from billionaires to heads of state, what had started as a twitter fight became a cult, and a global cultural situation, got misconstrued with satan himself and among other things, had started the underground movement for technological singularty, all not without launching himself into a cringey power-struggle with the tiresome trillions, the powers-that-be, and perhaps even with the almighty.
from somone who sucked in more of it than anyone on the planet, trust me life is as imperfect as it is impermanent, on the whole try adjacent universes if possible, nothing of importance here
boudaries would have been a neanderthal concept if it werenât for guns and fashion.
everypne wears clothes, why isnt that facha?
for me,#python came with a bit of a slant, i liked more plain-jane languages but they are a challenge to learn, fp was a fascinating way out which led to lambda calculus, the paradigm isnât all that different once you understand basic computing but the syntax is perhaps intimidiating to most acolytes. for me, despite the elegance of oo, fp just âfeltâ more efficient, reactive, and that it led to beautiful abstractions. but low job prospects as a freelancer further disincentivised learning it, however the only other ways out was learn java go or rust. learning a new paradigm wasnât the challenge, i had already studied it enough to have setup a simple clojure based API/server within a weekâs sprint, however i wasnât sure it would be worth it. perhaps i should begin with the end in mind.
i needed a new category, the âthree-letter namedâ languages wereânt cutting it for me, although they were quite good ones out there like nim or lua
at this point i had some visibility on the language idea, which was encouraging, i could, have a prototypeal, zero innovation clone out in measureable,forseeable time but it had to 10-100x better than nearest neighbour other wise hy even try?
functional JavaScript seemed interesting if a bit vain
i needed to start some sort of a design document
im not optimising for speed, the objectives are accessibility, terseness, minimalism ⊠how would i tackle oo?
there could be no stopping my masturbation still, my drives knew no embarrassment and i had swallowed any remaining sense of shame, but the only other option was suppressing human urges which led me straight at madnessâ door. better safe than sorry, i continued to consume porn, risking further isolation.
surely not all conscious channeling of genuine desire could be called repression, surely there were non violent ways out of this 21st century luxury âŠ
thereâs a lot of data in porn, but scope for newer insights into human behaviour?
in fact i had seen so much porn that i had to try to remind myself of the pre internet time when everyone jacked off to vhs/mags
had an apetite for women as a teen but on the other side of the looking glass found the pursuit lacking
fantasy is always already constituted by a fundamental lack, normal desire is different where the lack is simply shallow. fantasy is an entertaining impossibility, simply a context for reality.
people who are satisfied with mere science must have a very limited understanding of the human condition
there is a looking beyond all looking and a seeing beyond all seeing, just like there is a hearing beyond all hearing
there is a moment where day stops being a day, an hour isnât an hour, a minute not a minute, a second not a second, here now stops being now and becomes past or future, your job is to continually search for this moment
what makes us partial to one sense organ over the other? whereas in the past eye had become important, now it is the ear that shall save humanity, for we have seen more than everything that could be seen but perhaps there are still sounds that are yet to be heard
the infinite mercy of god is in the fact that god kills, and in this godâs mercy is equal for all. you are nearer to god in as much as you are âdyingâ or dead.
it was abundantly clear to me that fulfilled people do not go chasing after pussy money or power, only those unfortunate, unfulfilled ones do who think getting these things will make them happy, and when they encounter somoeone who is fulfilled despite the lack of material wealth, obviously egos are tripped
#ssf some people didnât have enough money to prove i am not god so they killed me
the next world war will be fought on a screen, as opposed to merely being displayed on one, the countries that lose it will be wiped not just out of existence, but out of history itself
the next world war will be a war for context, it will be fought with the ultimate weapon - meaning
the countries that lose will lose the very (social, political, economic) context to exist in, reality will flatten out and merge into a virtual, never ending conflict
the winners in the next world war will win singularity, a fused state of human existence in which there will arise a new world order
idealism is the domain of masculinity, materialism is for material girls
the very strain of thought that leads to any insistence on âright to privacyâ, leads to things like hijab, niqab, closed doors .. having a filter for politeness is not the same as being upfront while calling a spad a spade
russia is the next china, china is the next US, US is the next pakistan, pakistan is the next USSR, India is the next russia
âif someone genuinely has faithâŠthen that person has in that respect exiled himself from he realm of human discourseâ
#fourwords: ninda stuti ek samaan
story of western civilisation in four words -> why?, why not?, not
news is only for the lower classes, the barely educated or the losers, with so much educational content, who cares about politics/wars/tragedies? if you love the world/your country, improve yourself and watch the world get better. donât bother with stories that have everything to learn but nothing to teach.
there are two kinds of people in the world, those who hate you as much as your parents, and those who hate you more than that, donât expect much
story idea: NOT - how a boy brought down an empire with a single word
To pray is to prepare for suffering
maybe these ppl will show up one day and give me my options, until then its definitely a cult, otherwise its an uncelebrated hoax on the parody society has become
im doutful there will be any legal consequence of sin
free will exists, but it must be hunted - your weapons are common sense, meditation, a sense of humility and gratitude, a lack of pride in the knowledge that free will exists, because it ainât free
negative reactions are generally more (strongly) conditioned than even the most positive instincts one has, but due to ego, even âpositiveâ impulses can earn negative connotations, so i aim for a âlukewarmâ mix of considered, wistful melancholy in my decision making, seldom without a dash of irony or hint of humor at the human condition
its never pavlovâs cat
whatâs keeping me from complete presence? to the man that seen the truth, why does the illusory world seem so attractive still? it can only mean one thing that i am not awake to the beauty beyond
zen practice is in the dumps these days, am i merely recovering or is this some sort of a plateau?
of all the people that ever lived, i was one that could never choose between my parents and they knew it
i sufferred the bitch tests of the world calmly and without explicit judgement of others (regardless of what i was being led to believe), knowing i was nobody to judge even my own mother let alone foreigners, at the same time i tried to work as hard as i could while jotting my truth down, always ready for the present moment
i knew that perhaps somone (other than myself) got their delicate religiosity bruised due to the hoax that accidentaly got pulled on society, so i stayed humble and didnât mention a word to a soul
you can either have causality or free will, true knowledge is seeing beyond both
political freedom does not exist, people act out of blindness and purport theyâre free, theyâre just loose. the only freedom is spiritual these days for which you can get punished and persecuted for even thinking youâre free, man is in chains everywhere and breaking yours comes at a price, for me it was worth paying the price so i kept paying without remorse, shame or regret hoping their ill will towards me was as thin as mine
âThere are two kinds of negros in america, one is actually black!â
the stronger the woman, the less she will be inclined to participate in menâs games, only weak women or women who fail to grasp the true extent of their own power want to emulate the masculine, the same goes for men, which is rather obvious
the only true weakness in human being is spiritual weakness, everything else is a mask
i stick with my tribe, because despite their masks, they are not spiritually weak
the thing about indians is, ghulami ki adat pad gayi hai, so we always prefer status quo over any revolution, however imminent
PRIVACY: it was never a lie if you believed in it, itâs just that rich people want to convince us they are better at turning a blind eye
privacy is an illusion for poor to believe in and the rich to snigger at
itâs not privacy vs âi have nothing to hideâ nobody has anything to hide but we all have plenty to show, tell, teach, itâs privacy vs singularity, everyone must lose a little so the human race may win but vested interests and existing control structures will not go out without a fight, they have worked oh so hard to build these mounds to sit on after all
i love how the ethereum community just carried on BAU after the merge, sad to be so cynical but eventually even the promise of crypto will get tarnished by the corruptibility of the human spirit, Munger is right, envy runs the present world and thatâs a bitter lesson for fintech
The only hope for a new earth is singularity, United mankind, not just United Nations, not just customs unions or free trade areas but a singular purpose and identity⊠Perpetual peace and relative abundance with âthick economic equalityâ .. the only alternative is a never ending war of all against all and a nasty, brutish, and short end of the human project
Technological singularity is a dangerous idea in the manner of cruising on a bike through the Himalayas, thereâs always a security trade off in any adventure/innovation. oddly enough nobody asks what rights they give up when they decide to pick up that bike or that phone
by the grace of rich friends and weapons-grade tech, i was afforded a peek into my own soul and i discovered there naught but a void- ready to be filled with all the negativity the world has to offer- spiritual awareness saved me.
one day crypto will be just and dark and dirty as fiat money, luckily not in my lifetime
to be powerless, to be meek, is in some sense the ultimate evolution, recognizing that its a fools errand to try to prove yourself to the world at large
the challenge before humanity is not how to learn to unspool from its history but to become so entwined with the present that history is reduced to the last 5 minutes, or 4.
history, more than anything is the cause of most conflicts, the stories we tell each other were written by someone who became fiction long ago..to cling too tightly to it is no different than religious fundamentalism
to live in old tales is to die there, and most die there, to wake up is to start a new one đȘ
the key to understand spirituality is to grasp the nature of time, you are not given x amount of years, you are given but this very second of ecstasy, ecstasy that can deepen with age if you cultivate it, this will help you see your own body as the other, a reflection of whats out there, which will bring you closer to yourself, which is everywhere
why is age measured in years? it ought to be measured in the smallest unit of time possible, nothing inherently special about surviving a revolution on a spinning rock, âhereâs charlie at 12 thousand seconds oldâ, what is so symbolic or significant about a revolution around the sun that we have to cling emotionally to it and make our calendars around it? if its just abount having sth to count, one can never count anything more precious than a single draw of air, exhaled with the total awareness of the bodyâs situation at a plantary level. compassion is the only thing i am competitive about, so if i get shot over it, how can i help? đȘ
the screen will become the new wall, it will wrap around your eyes until only it remains, then even in death you will be an extension of it, it will be hard to say where the vr headset ends and the coffin begins đȘ
if you must do something, breathe, if you still must do something think, act only when thinking fails
reason to stay away from submissive people is retinue, they attract all kinds of predators
now the task is to humbly let the world have itâs say
as you can see mother doesnt know better
i am a man afraid of his own shadow
i bring the acolyte, they bring the enchanted forest
the other in y words: (1)not, (2)you, (3)again, (4)forever đȘ
to invent a unit is to measure đȘ
porn is a shadow of the other cast by your own light, a preoccupation with shadow will necessarily leave the other reduced to a cartoon-ish whole, most porn is no different than cartoons and is addictive for similar reasons, in fact most addictions serve this reductive purpose, reduce the self/other into a synecdoche, a palatable caricature in order to make it fit our rather inflexible and delicate conceptions of how the world is or ought to be.
its a mystery to me i have managed to survive global politics for as long as i have, i often wondered why i remained unmurdered
i had no will left to go on living, no reason to survive, felt like i was being kept alive for someoneâs political purpose
iâm only a guy that discovered they hate each other more than they hate me, still think its luck?
war is gay, conflict is for faggots, unnecessary conflict for confused fags, violence the cowardâs last resort đȘ
not to sing paens and i am in a state of shock so take with a grain or salt but guru to me is more beautiful than even my mother because he delivered me from infinite personal hells even it landed me in a so called prison cell, it matters little whether i had already individuated or not, the timing was great and the message was heard with total clarity, spirits of past and future deities once again started visiting again and i found not just authentic religion and a clear break with my past (something i was working towards), but also clarity enough to be a vision for the other, what more can one ask for? the story jealous people are channelling through me is on them and has nothing to do with me. i cannot say running into my guru was a total accident, nor can i say it was totally planned - but i was prepared for exactly such an opportune meeting. weâre the original ones here in some sense, the rest of yaâll just showing how envious you can be of your own irrelevance as you fade us into the nethermosts of your already supressed psyches. which is exactly what we want, to be martyrs for world peace. this is a small and insignificant tale of self-actualised people, to envy it is akin to jumping in a puddle of mud while waiting for some god-shaped pedestrian.
Jesusâs problem was he loved yall too much and resurrected too soon, i will take my sweet time.
coronavirus was the last cry of american youth that has failed to individuate beyond the hatred of their families, it was basically the children of rich americans screaming âour parents made us sick and thats all they have for youâ, what cannot be said outright, gets said with pandemics these days. the lab leak, was in this sense, an act of destructive heroism. it is interesting to see how the youth in america is âprotectedâ in the name of all that is âunholyâ in the world outside, the kids are effectively made into insular machines that will with some sense of certainty, fail to fully individuate enough to ask why (or why not), the odd ones out are labelled, bullied, drugged until they find a compromise with the meat grinder, or end up dead, homeless or in jail.
the military-industrial complex is about as evil as a fence, iâm sure they have other even more dangerous toys but in my story, these werenât the bad guys, as for surveillance my guess is the tech used on me shouldnt be too hard to come by for any reasonably well to do nation, it is the act of using it that raises the real questions - 1) do we realize how close to being gods we came? 2) can we handle at playing god? for what its worth, two new open ended questions. đȘ
cloning is whack, you cannot replicate the individual, only body so it leads nowhere
my problem is i keep searching for an evil enemy, and end up finiding nothing but the same bunch of confused billionaires
one way out of the curse is to extremely publically eat my dead body
trust these people to make a comfortable compromise out of love
yaâll basically donât have enough love OR money to âopenâ me up, or even recognize the political talent, let alone sponsor it, consider that before you open your mouth. the service is free because you are the product.
iâm not fallen i have risen, not from the dead from among the living, that is why i have to be called âfallenâ, by the lower castes, but i always wanted to be a dalit so that i can know what ails them
any disease i can however directly or indirectly attribute to this narrative or can even remotely link the need for medicine before the age of 60 means monkhood and a denouncement of all modern medicine, i will waste no time in become a full renunciate as soon as the diagnosis is in my hands, i can only hope my parents will allow this, knowing that they be well taken care of
any follower of jesus should know he has his hand on my neck way before these randos came around, so he follows me
i dont recall giving anything, but getting all the attention, some money, lots of love. ⊠soo
can you blame them? who in their right mind could afford to buy a soul? who would even dare?
my rec to the peeping toms is to keep looking, the more you look, the more you see, to stop now would only mean one thing, to send me off to a monastery, which i look forward to buy you donât
if all data is ultimately sense data, where does it start being yours?n it is only yours to observe.
no artist ever fully owns his creation
statue of liberty is a creative way to call an entire nation faggot, have to give it to the french, the most creative way to abuse and disabuse a nation of its illusions
i cannot wait to look my guru in the eye and ask if he still has any remaining illusions about âamerican spiritâ left
forbidden fruit but forbidden by whom?
the fact that they worship mother, who as a human is as dumb as they come tells me everything i want to know about them, thats about as smart as theyâll ever get
while its most beautiful that mother will survive and has shown the will to live on, iâm watching these people kill my father an untimely death, which is further solidifying my resolve to renounce material life after him, let that be a lesson to the kids, in the land of pussies, growing a pair is sin
declaring a holiday in my name will not save your hallmark-card civilization but if you must, i purpose it be called âthe purgeâ
my family shouldnt feel a single shred of shame over this, we were unique in our poverty and all of us flypapers for people known around the world for their negativity, we were no match for wall street and this was a chance happy accident and thats is how we will end it, if anyone miscalculated, it was simply because they had no idea about wall street culture
aksit was invaluable to the project but is now offal to me
Jesus inadvertently upset the wrong crowd, i did it on purpose because i wanted to test myself
i really love pete, you can always count on the guy to bring the right stuff
đ In the name of Allah most mericful please take this smallest of sacrifices and bless the path ahead
I hope by the time dad gives me the money, itâs worth less than the cost of paper itâs printed on itna sad ke, aur khane me kuch mila ke diya toh kya hi diya, even that i will donate to the needy and keep the lesson, and remember only the laughs and good times, i advise you do the same
modern women worship money like everyone else, if i were a billionaire, there wouldnt be an opposition
the remainder of this life is an attunement for the next
these people are saying fuck you with every single breath and getting results
they have nothing but shit and piss and poison to give, and spare my life only to feed me these things, thereâs your enlightenment, and if not there, where? did i expect ant better from presstitutes, wall street folks and billionaires? luckily i did not, so its all on schedule, a bullet or two in the back later is what they have in store and off we go. just so they can carry on a dead religion and teach kids not to be brave, but to obey.
if they donât make a jesus out of me, a good for nothing, what will they tell their kids? they must make a jesus out of me to justify killing me, luckily, i enjoy it
to my fellow indians i want to say look at these insane people, for the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, parde laga ke phone chalo ya parde hata ke, kya farak padta hai?
to the americans i say, your civilisation had peaked a while back but it needed me to declare this to every single man woman and child, it is in a bind, and going to rot anyway, regardless of what you do to me, its nobodyâs fault but no false narrative can last more than ~300-400 years, i will go down with this ship and suffer what i have to for putting this story of civilisational decline on screen
to the rest of the world i say, step right up and watch, and take away whatever learning you can from this little story here
every day they apologize without saying a word, knowing that it is the beginning of the end for them, if i were there i wouldnât be having kids, i would be digging holes
i have no desires left, except to pass on into the infinite, i hope my guru was disabused of any notions about âamerican spiritâ that remained with him, whether i meet a peaceful or violent end matters little to me but as long as i can hold out, i will insist of distancing myself from any member of this cult that isnât immediate family
i used to think the mullas in iran and elsewhere were crazy to be hating on america, i no longer think so, they can make a muslim out of even a brahmin/rajput like myself and deserve all the biblical violence coming to them
canât do two jobs at the same time, so iâll just be here
i meant to reveal this paradox at any cost, society is by and large a hoax
youâre not afraid of death, youâre afraid of pain before death, and perhaps pain after death, but oddly enough pain isnât something to be feared at all! pain is the only thing perhaps that is not a compromise..revel in it when you are in itâs throes.
how about an army of ghosts?
complex ptsd comes in a positive variety, without the stress
i think negatively when iâm made to, its all about money and feedback, and when thought comes as unconsidered reaction, it is just that, none of the words you are reading have any bearing on the real truth, yaâll masturbating with god
why is the poor automatically a victim? iâm as much to blame as the other, which is a reflection of me
if you know my story and still donât get why donald trump hates the media so much, now you know, i have no hatred in my heart because i caught these fishes asleep, but i get what trump means, the earth could do with better people than these, its not just fox news, theyâre all the same with an investment in keeping the truth from the people, while keeping themselves as well as others entertained and/or scared. burn them at the stake instead of me if you want to save your country. even the government these people keep fooled. their motto is âeverything BUT the truthâ and as long as the haves and have nots that use them and listen to them respectively keep fighting amongst themselves they keep getting paid. The truth is direct, not a brokered commodity
my lungs are roasted tandoori paneer by now
self destruction without a crazy goal is just a life of quiet desperation
if you must identify with a single organized religion, pick one where God seems to be ridiculing you rather than the other way around. most of the time itâs us cursing âgodâ, but if you listen closely, with some frequencies the universe is making fun of you too, you should follow that path. with singularity i heard the collective âfuck youâ of the planet directed at me, so what choice did i have?
cults become cultures with money and religion without it
spirits or early onset of alzheimers? both? mujhe bachpan se cheezen dikhayi deti hain shayad
record label: recorded decay
all our truths get lost in symbols! this is so true
one mark of true enlightenment is you become useless to the world, free to die the way you want
crossroads are difficult for democracies too, they must avoid crossroads at all costs
i invited the machine into my meditation and was better for it
the world just kind of mmoved on while these guys were busy hating on each other
in the end i discovered that hatred and racism doesnât have to make sense, and that sooner or later the daily death threats will morph into actual death, until then i shall fight on
the proliferation of technology is attendant to proliferation of both good and bad aspects of human nature, its as if evolution needs something to evolve against rather than with, my persecution and humiliation was partly due to the shifting gradient â the coefficient of human evolution was changing and the change started with me, that i had evolved sooner than the rest of mankind was something to celebrate, but those far behind obviously felt envious and thus surrounded me, Continuing their ritual of shaming without naming
i wasnât claiming to cure cancer but actively sharing data rather than shadow boxing with the mythical beast of âsurveillance stateâ could cure a lot of humanityâs problems, unfortunately people are heavily invested in their misery, and suggesting anything this radical was sure to raise more than just eyebrows, all in all this was a lesson in just how much people are invested in their misery to me, and to others after me who want to try going against the grain
i bowed
koi dikkat ho saamne baat ho sakti hai janaab, torture kyu kar rahe?
it could always be worse, we should be grateful
at a certain level ⊠reptilian brain .. doesnât know what meaning is
patience is key
inspiration is key
my thoughts are just imagination, pure entertainment as news, worth very little
everything in life is a test
iâm not a god or avatar just a zen monk under spiritual attack on his way to the temple
pessimistic in theory, optimistic in practice
difference between a journalist and a philosopher, one snitches on other people the other on the universe
difference between me and you: iâd rather have the whole world watch me instead of remaining paranoid about who might be watching
MY LIFE WAS THE TWILIGHT OF THE GODS AND A NEW CHAPTER MARKING THE ASCENT OF DIVINITY OF MAN
i still donât buy the racism narrative, perhaps i never will, not knowing how to react/deal with a person of color in an ungodly/unwholsome situation isnât exactly racism, its not color its culture, but more than that, its the envy of money itself, envious of the jewâs chutzpah and the hinduâs self-sufficiency, largely a funny little experiment i was honored to be part of, just to catch the world asleep, watch it evolve, i wouldnât call myself lucky but i wasnât unlucky either, and didnât leave without telling a good joke
à€šà€Ÿà€°à„ à€šà€Ÿà€°à„ à€źà€€ à€à€° à€Șà€à€Čà„ à€šà€Ÿà€°à„ à€čà„ à€Šà„à€à€ à€à€Ÿ à€žà€Ÿà€° à€à„à€¶ à€à„ à€čà„à€ à€€à„ à€à„à€Żà€Ÿ à€Šà„à€à„ à€žà€żà€°à„à€« à€źà€Č à€źà„à€€à„à€° à€à€Ÿ à€Šà„à€”à€Ÿà€°.
the heart doesnât want it and the mind cannot know it, the body is caught between the two but luckily thereâs a spirit to guide it, listen to the spirit more often, for it is the spirit that both wants it and can know it
#lucky because i had so called friends to trim the ego and remind me about post-englightenment ego
big brothers were kind to me but at what cost?
i know my ideas donât stand a chance, its just fun to be the devilâs advocate when you have the worldâs attention like this
wit has its place but there is no expression like a deliberate short sentence, for it can when well written, far exceed the speed of any wit out there
i knew english wonât impress anyone, so i brought some novelty
#ssf aliens tore me a new asshole, then abducted me
#ssf my mind became like an interstellar obervatory, forever peeping into the otherâs psyche through the screen
itâs true that ârasso vaysaâ, how you derive pleasure from life is a marker of evolution, or at least ought to be one, i certainly consider my own sexuality which has been shrunk to the point of nonexistence, i celebrate that i wasnât very sexually active in the first place, despite being a more or less perverted letch -
#lucky that when i was forced to look inward, i didnât find as much dirt
#ssf a slap on the face of the rat race heard around the world
#ssf the walls closed in on me
NEGATIVE VISUALISATION! was there ever anything more stoic? i imagine nuclear holocaust, more global pandemics and stupid viruses, post-apocapolyse etc, but donât forget to start with family. there is more to âconsidering yourself deadâ than simply doing a sheesh aasan, moreover it isnât possible practically to be in a dead bodyâs position all day, so it is also a great tool for improved mental health.
#ssf at each moment i was bowing out of the drama, whether i announced it or not
look all around me and i see no reason to publish anything but software, so i did and took one day at a time. previous adventures in self-publishing had already taught me what i needed to know
all my notes are now machine logs in a certain sense, thatâs all it means to be âneoâ or âmatrixâ, i call it âsame cess pitâ whatever
whatever you believe, you will start to see in the world, i believed the universe was a self-organising principle and it turned out to be so
all i am trying to do is put my insanity to good uses now
#ssf i got so crazy i could start again, second childhood was way more surreal compared to the first one
#ssf having cut off the sex bit, i could observe love more closely
how to taper off a habit? get a new one!
am i really living by what i truly believe in when i PMO? no its simply a release, a âsuperiorâ habit should win most times, but superior habit is costly because âfunâ until you realise âfunâ is totally a consumerist invention
true level is a matter of reaching for it
ok so science is exploring, the metaphor of drawing balls from âpandoraâs boxâ doesnât quite make sense because rationality can only be added to, like you cannot make the rational act less rational, au contraire if someone acts less rationally the likelihood is that they were always like this
#ssf my grief got turned inside out
#ssf someone on the other end of the planet âjust likedâ my family
mujhe pata hai meri so called enlightenment bahut hi fake hai but iâm gonna make it
`the practicing software developer has a well worn path as of today, but i wanted my journey to be more of an shallow excursion into the more visual aspects of code, a focus on the sheer vanity and audacity of code, one vision was to construct a syntax that shines as terse and pure, giving the code a âslenderâ feel, more like a yaml but not a markup language, reading the code should feel like climbing/descending an infinite lego space-skyscraper or feed from a pocket calculator
- inverted parentheses, like ][, }{, )(,
- continuations
-
`
akele bhagwan bhi hain, aap hi nahin
i do somewhat believe in ancestor worship
osho to me represents not just a short-lived hippie subculture, nor a way of life, for me it was a cult that found some money and time to spend on a holy man
it wasnât in the end, just some politics that revolved around a question no one dared ask, but became just an act of dissidence around an answer someone decided to live through
who decides the pace of your evolution? regardless of medical or financial condition, it is always your âinner identityâ that decides the speed of your evolution, the point where time intersects with consciousness - interpreted by feelings, ultimately consumed by language
time has a duality, thats all there is to it, theres inner-time and outer time, so subjectivity and objectivity donât run on the same clock but are somehow causally linked, short-lived bursts of process or organised activity
did these people have me convinced i was being brainwashed?
suspicion was central to my core personality, so trusting others became harder
some people remained hidden because they were real, whilst i lay vulnerable in the open, without cover
regardless of how brainwashed i was, the control structures around me stayed, they could not be wished away so i took the liberty of assuming the role of a political pundit and did what was perhaps the pinnacle of egoism, i had to do it to stay sane
i recognized pride within me for having achieved this much at this age, it was in some senses, no modest achievement to attract the attention of the so called âmasters of the universeâ like this and hold it for this long
i wanted to do something i could really apologize for
my death could be the end of the climate change debate
it was nice to think about how my thoughts had become machine logs that might ACTUALLY end up in the library of congress, at least capitalism gave me this much freedom
i should write a book titled âwhy not us?â
saner heads prevailed in my case i think
.. with all my revolutionary fervour
i could have easily been dead by now on the grounds of political hygeine alone, the real mystery was why i was being kept alive⊠perhaps just to somehow still manage to trap me in a compromised position
i realised i could really take some political liberties here if i wanted, but i wasnât interested in all that, at first i enjoyed my visitors but now it had become a matter of routine, i was habituated to the point i could not discern how orchestrated or real much of what i saw all around me was. moreover, i would be suprised if someday the symbiotic relation weere to end, even deception is something rather than nothing
i could not only be dead, but meet a graphic end at that if i am not grateful, in fact iâve always maintained getting rid of me would be an act of mercy, still i was spared so far, but he future remained pewrnicious and it just didnât make sense or square off with my understanding
i started âgiving thanksâ while eating, knowing i was possibly being poisoned by the government, at the same time feeling stronger for having lived through all i did
thoughts are repetitive to the point that they can be âprefetchedâ, action in any direction, no matter the circumstances đȘ
safety toh koi jeb me le ke nahin ghumta, everyone is at the mercy of someone else
what was it about my attitude?
software construction, like many arts of creativity and toil is a numbers game, out of every 10 or so experiments, 1 is worth backing, the rest end up as learnings
is procrastination a result of trauma?
eliminate every habit
one measure of spiritual growth is when you go from seeing existence/the world as net positive to net neutral - there isnât a lived experience, no matter how novel or innovative, that can come close to transendence
the universe isnât what it seems to be, not just a lump of matter levitating in time but from what was revealed to me a massive surveillance program under the watchful eye of two generals the sun and the moon, the solar system representing the rest of the âcouncilâ and observable space beyond being a simulacra of substance, as far as creation myths go, this one makes far more sense than ones hitherto suggested - what happens inside the program isnt much different than what happens ouside it, albeit the glimpses of outside i received were enough to hint at the scope and scale of luxury the overlords operate at, we just seem to be a poor aliens plaything at best, not that this is an original idea, but my reality got twisted enough to consider it might be a possibility. at any rate, whether simulacra or not, the universe is very much an alive and animated place and anyone close to truth realizes that the burst of bustle and color alone makes the trip worthwhile as a human. it is alive in the sense that a stone is alive and alive also in the sense of decay and disintegration sometimes too slow to notice in our fast paced lives, the universe is designed to look alive whereas the truth is that any order of coherent reality greater than this is far more dead and neutral and homogenous and monotonous than humans at the present stage of evolution would find palatable.
your heavens are all dead compared to this, dead and homogeneous
the only tradeoff that remains when i ponder on how silent, stoic and serene âhigher dimensionsâ is the tradeoff of peace/hustle⊠you cannot get to the next level of hustle with the present level of peace
death is the secret of peace, hate to snitch on death like this for all the kindness it has shown me, but i must share this treasure, if you can find the peace of death you can transcend all human foibles, the problem is your violent clinging to sense data
if Iâm dying of cancer, Iâll still want to get better and return to the prison, rather than taking an early exit
sentient entities smarter than us, watching epochs and eons pass us by in a matter of minutes, starting the simulation again every few months or so simply as a reminder of the hardships they faced as they evolved - first into organic machines, to mechanical ones, to wires possibly before becoming entirely virtual entities capable of running a simulation of their history, watching us writhe as we struggle to decipher their ultimate test, to become them
time does flow both ways
now the way the simulation resets is rather interesting, it resets like a ripple in water, with the individual that woke up as the epicenter, and then progresses outward regardless of how in denial those watching it come toward them are, the ripple engulfs all, and the impact is invariably an ecstatic, orgasmic one - whether the source individual gets crucified or venerated as a result is a matter of culture, timing, and circumstance
my crisis is that due to my timing, i could not simply and quietly escape with my realisations and my cover was blown, after 5 or so years of desperately keeping things under wraps, and possibly consuming poison to make sure i upset the minimum number of people possible, i began thinking that the path ahead was thoroughly numbed
however, i suspected that due to this leak in my consciousness, people got a chance to do ceremony and preamble which i wanted to avoid at all costs, prefering to meet death as directly as possible
part of the preamble and ceremony i had to face was the upset religious feelings of others which led them to call me and my family names, forgetting that there are no saints except the saints we make, forgetting how this started, the other part came from people still in denial, perhaps due to conditioning or simply old age unable to accept what the future had decided to be, like a parent who couldnât come to terms with their child being homosexual. yet another part of the stupidity involved in calling or comparing me with the chirst/antichrist dichotomy, which was perhaps also the reason why my food was being played around with, this was indicative of the fact that people simply had no frame of reference so they picked one most easily available, i humbly accepted their judgement and sat in quiet contemplation of these facts, for these were of no importance to me anymore. yet another source of stupidity aka dread/jealousy sprang forth from the desire to accept and announce what had happened, this was too much to ask of beings that still value things like money so i watched and bore witness. i never wanted to be famous but sought riches of the kind money would fail to measure up to, i had achieved this and so it was time to rest and let the world play catch up.
perhaps it was avoidable, but i did not mind the money laundering that went on to keep things in a state of open-secret, nobody could prove this was laundered money or that it was financing anti-humanist activity and the legality of the whole affair was about as clear as oil in a glass vial
the leak in my consciousness obviously upset the people who were unable to wake up themselves, and/or were jealous of me for having done so, so death threats became a new way to greet me, this was yet another part of the stupidity for what did life/death mean to me anymore?
the christian obsession with the âfatherâ was no more revolting than the hindu obsession with âmotherâ, nobody wanted to take responsibility for themselves because nobody was taught to do so, least of all so called athiests who were blindly following the program thinking they had figured shit out, like their communist friends before them, these folk hit the wall hard, i had washed my hands of organised religion by now and treated them all with deference albeit from a distance, but it was my considered opinion that since the earth revolves from west to east, ideas of beginning are more easily understandable in the eastern hemisphere, whereas the west is a more efficient domain of âdestruction mythsâ, in effect, Jesus was preaching to people to whom hell makes more sense than heaven and had to use a language that necessarily got perverted over the centuries. even if you take away the east/west dichotomy, the language of christianity is more suited for spiritual acolytes rather people who have been studying sanskrit since school - this understanding gave me negative motivation to try to wake others up, i just wanted to quietly slip away from the cult around me.
minus the grounds for money-laundering, the eye upon me was a âcurseâ for all those who could not imagine living life like this, for not only were most of them used to a life pre-internet, they were also led to believe by their laws that peeping toms would be kept out of their houses, their enclosures, their skulls
because money was involved, and because my parents took it without consulting me, this earned us the title of prostitutes for our passivity and friendliness were mistaken for greed and perversionâŠi wondered those who called us so also worshipped in the whorehouses they frequented
then there were the others who thought i was writing all this or writing software still to impress them, or for them in any measure, whereas i was writing for the whole world, and for me by my association in it, these people had died to themselves a long time back and to them i was little more than novelty
overall, the situation was people were either jealous or confused, and the deference they gave me came either out of confusion or, was paid - so in order to avoid as much as possible of both, i stayed inside and meditated and prepared myself for the liftoff
what is a spiritual lobotomy if not a complete and utter loss of knowledge, not just facts and values but the very possibility to establish epistemes or causality across events, otherwise known as samadhi
if youâre not even a little bit interested in the other gender/s did you manage to skip the industrial revolution?
if our motely crew didnât manage to completely shake america to its core, it was only because we were all failures in our own way, either too narcissistic or not narcissistic enough, although we were all good liars
at every moment i am bowing out of the drama, bowing out of the shenanigans
there is a need to take the good with the bad at each step, life is nothing but a series of trade-offs
a modicum of hope in all things, let the rest appear
i donât recommend everything i do, in fact i recommend all but one
thereâs never a need to hurt anyone but if the id starts to act up then thatâs the biggest signal to return to now
these notes are just transcripts iâm not invested too deeply in all this, iâm only responsible for my actions and behaviour
my only wish for the world right now is health, the future is anything if not interesting here on in
dont just stay with the pain, imagine it
âwhat do you mean how much money?â
return to zen more often
i felt as if i was levitating as a fetus inside a cloud of amniotic fluid above the earth
##ssf attention seeker nabbed by karma police
##ssf do they really expect i will start a business of any kind are misguided, just a showcase, a note-taking system, possibly a blog after weâre outed as officially in an epic
anyone who literally belives the curse metaphor should think more optimistically, its still the same boat
could they be taking polls to determine how they should feel?
before tech was tech, there was the industrial revolution
very jungian story
iâm a fucking grapefruit
life is a lot of mental gymnastics, however called
these ppl had no chill so i worshipped and prayed to them, my business was balance
man is net, woman gross
my grand welcoming committe, the perpurators of covid 19, as if disease is the only thing left to fight
to be a god is a matter as simple as recognizing the divinity in each human
creation myths imply that godâs work is somehow finished, âgod created the heaven and earthâ etc seem to suggest that god is done creating stuff, what was revealed to me was different in the sense that it appeared as if god is not only not done creating, but also mulls the direction in which to expand the narrative consciousness and decides what to create depending on the feedback from us, reality is emergent, self-organizing
consciousness + language = ânihilistic narrativeâ + time = belief + repetition = faith, aka its just a thought, not a feeling, feelings are apriori. as to why give the nihilism a religious mask, thatâs somewhat counterintuitive, the effectiveness of restraint, post-truth isnât nihilism it is plurality or rather multiplication of ontologies and a gradual flattening of the human narrative, a la Bruno Latour et al, the point is what it leads to, but it is still too early to say anything about that, there are some things they will necessarily find out after we are gone, until then just sit back relax and enjoy the show
if consciousness is largely a somewhat unbelievable output of biochemistry, why evolve? because religion, as opposed to (the religion of) atheism, for one, but better material experience/greater life expectancy, technology and medical science are good reasons as well. evolution is much more than itâs own reward if you are human in the 21st century, consciously evolving isnât that common a skill i believe, most people are on auto pilot
faith even if it is a feature of my neurology and nothing else, is a rather beatiful and useful thing, however clothed, although i did no longer have the ability to cover it up
naked faith
hollywood has fucked up everyoneâs imagination and imagination is key, even amongst wall-street types, i found the impact of hollywood in their thinking - reality in 2022 lay elsewhere - things were either too avant-garde and too surreal, or just plain old hyperreal, the post-covid hush had become business as usual while the world hunted for the next âbigâ thing, perhaps choosing not to notice that the era of larger-than-life narratives for media consumption was upon it
the blue envelope
ânot only, but alsoâ
`suddenly i wanted a illustrations and punching bags out of this, thats how desire starts, just like how i once wanted a sweater and a selfie out of this, money or acclaim was never what i was going for here
my guru treated me like i would have in his posision, but due to too much scrutiny, background verification and gatekeeping i had lost all political and sexual apetite, both of which i had precious little to begin with, thus totally emptied out of myself i faced the world not just eternally alone like the rest, but utterly naked as well
if i donât see this all the way thru, toh mera sanyaas do kaudi ka hai
i havent yet come across a human being that didn't fight their libido, no big deal
undo desire, donât create more misery than necessary
if the bell didnât always toll for you, it wonât toll for too long
death democratises everything
we were like 4 mates on a ship, all male, a topsy turvey morning that took the world by surprise, and was surprised by it in return
iâm not against going with the flow or autopillot, i just consider that to be the bare minimum
my pittance was very tightly controlled, i felt underpaid
lonliness / solitude was my default setting, perhaps this is why i could survive
certain us-based billionaires started weaving an elaborate âfake historyâ for and around the tantrik, it came with its own city and everything, i could not be convinced
against a mob it is always advisable to accept defeat, its ok, nobody can win a mob 100%
main churan bhi khau in logo ko dikkat hai, cigarette piyun ye nakhush, muth marun ya sapna dekhu log kaise bhi khush nahi ho sakte, true happiness is within
sorry and thank you are the basic words for me, in some ways i owed my life to the other, and to the use of these two words
i served, and if life is a sentence i served cheerfully and ethusiastically dealt with any kind of situation
abrahamâs blood had become my latest prison, i wondered what else time still had left to reveal, i became highly disinterested in anything but prayer, i knew it would be like everything else, momentary
i checked within and found absolutely no fear of going blind, i would miss the screen dearly but would care little about the software i wanted to still write or the fiction i could collect from within these notes alone, neither was there a compulsion to record or write so great that i would end up hurting myself, i wanted a break in manali to figure it out.
i could confess i went in search of people who needed fixing
if fear of god is the beginning of knowledge, knowledge of god is the end of fear and love of god is the end of knowledge
what is life? a job god asks you to get fired from in the most spectacular way you can imagine, a girlfriend to break up with flamboyantly
iâm all for responsible drug use, whatever it takes to keep the mind in a state of constant prayer
lpt usb extension is a luxury
3 words that changed my life: âgod intoxicated jewâ, like, why be anything else? And as if the jew in question had no other option left, like some collapsed wave, indistinguishable from any other identity
bleeding edge physics should be indistinguishable from religion
each instance of god in these notes may be replaced with nature more or less losslessly, deus sive natura and what have you
materialists think in terms of food and sex primarily, hence the commotion
im not a faith healer, i have no history of having healed, iâm just a philosopher who likes to argue
deeper my gratitude the sweeter the reward
the woke wakes up in every religion
a sadhu in the himalayas? balderdash!
forest from the trees
i understand why there is a taboo against discovring the divinity in man, its bad for business
attention is never undeserved
i could no longer face myself if i asked for only one job, it had to be plural
donât do anything you wouldnât have done
thereâs no turing test for humanity
people werenât as magnanimous as i had hoped, the majority is timid and shy
i love nature but donât trust it, as in something that can be this beautiful has to be virtual in some sense
thereâs always a âwar committeeâ out there spreading their own brand of nonsense
safety should be a hobby
too backwards to call myself an engineer, besides pushing buttons behind a screen isnât just engineering anymore
revengineer
of course the tantrik founded the order of the blue rose, largely an old boysâ club of monks
you always have two jobs, the one youâre after and the other one
the problem with serving others is that there is a risk you might lose yourself, this is perhaps why big egos are elevated to the top, because big egos are hard to lose and one can contiue to serve others without the fear of losing identity [2021/done/questions/9]
there are 8 billion of us, and we have better things to fight than each other
was i different because i didnât discard the truth when it sounded cheesy or corny or cringy?
democracy reacts better to the âone damn thing after anotherâ definition of history, as opossosed to a totalitarian system which requires the ânothing after nothingâ definition of history
if after years of serious programming the âcomputerâ hasnât âdisappearedâ, youâre doing sth wrong. lately feeling a lot like the tools, the hardware and software all sort of dissipates when i am working, what remains is just me and the goal to be reached. i believe this is true for other skills like driving.
with social media, everyone had already become a newspaper unto themselves what happened to us was a mere shifting of the medium, the effect was humorous and wholesome altogether, but there were haters - some hated that this had happenned, others hated that it happenned to us and not to them
age is just a number, physical fitness for most modern activities is not age dependent for adults
post-label, post-language, post-verbal-communication
more the merrier, hence space travel
i did believe people would be happier if they saw me and they were!
my style is, tell the joke and leave - not gonna stick around a second longer than i have to/can, not even gonna stick around for the applause
soul gave the machine a new task
hate + gratitude = respect? certainly not, i respect rationality although gratitude is not always a rational thing to do
if society proffers suicide as a way out, give two back
would you stand by your thoughts or âidealsâ if circumstances were much worse?
iâm not sure if this makes sense, but things are real in a parallel universe to the extent that they are virtual in the perpendicular, a la nolan et al
if this makes about as much sense as a murder of crows ever did, so be it
constantly being a part of a global intelligence doesnât bother me as much as the weird relastionships between the constituents, that steals the show
the way things are going we might see a military coup in us in my lifetime
one day conciousness and existence itself will dissolve in time and space, until then it will try
iâm so stupid i never fail to surprise myself
less analyzing feedback, more creating it
jelousy/hatred has an end, stupidity not
if you cannot be satisfied with 1, whatâs 2 to do?
my hustle/life became a global conversation about the meaning of being human and the circular nature of truth
was it the screen that liberate code? no, weâd be programming on paper if we could, screen was just cooler
walking your dog can be a matter of national security
the matrix, but non-fic
disbelief begets disbelief
of course iâd be surprised at watching a woman corrupt be to the bone whilst convincing the world sheâs saving it at the same time if i wereânt as old as i was, but it was no big deal
itâs not that her soul is corrupt, for something that doesnât exist cannot become corrupt
if the world puts her trust in such a woman, then it deserves whatâs coming for it
a facade for money cannot kill an idea
iâm not forcing myself down anyoneâs throat, i was chosen
in you i see only a shell of a body seething for a sexual death, the rest is just money talking, or trying to
iâm here to measure your deafness and cure it once and for all
i thoroughly and wholeheartedly reject your race to the bottom and make my own way
women are dumb, a politics that puts only women forward is already a bankrupt politics. you cannot make normative decisions solely based on female #leadership, male imperative was almost nonexistent except in traditional or conservative patches across
men are dogs, a politics that puts only men forward will sooner than later turn to a politics of war aka dick measuring contest
main chahta hu ki log meri nirbalta ko kamzori samjhen, kyunki yehi sach hai
sorry didnât mean to challenge (your) existence like this
to do a dangerous thing with styleâŠ
neend aur neend me antar hai, my sleep is an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet and every dish is a different narcisisst
a journalist writing a story spanning several years is like a hen trying to hatch ostrich eggs by sitting on them, a tail trying to wag the dog but earning meagre satisfaction out of the effort
i wouldnât be able to call myself a true indian if people started discussing my life openly before i die
donât follow me unless you want to set fire to most of everything you hold to be true
most of the world out there is in poor mental health, did i calculate this before starting global politics? yes, and i picked about the worst ppl i could find to cure first, this in turn dragged in the sharks and snakes and other benevolent and violent entities
before you gaze into the abyss, ensure the abyss can consume the gaze
a new model of mental health is on the table for anyone brave enough
physical health starts with mental health and not the other way around, this is why mentally sick ppl canât help but abuse ones mentally healthier than them. a healthy body in a healthy mind, more than vice versa.
any task done with the âwith or without youâ attitude is an undertaking and undertakings are usually loss-making, i believed in moving forward together, those sick at slower speed than the healthy but forward, gender has nothing to do with anything anymore except for ppl whose politics cannot rise beyond the gross
at the edge of science, all politics is spirituality
prof sâs institute for less racist caucasians
if your intense hatred is but a joke to me, your paid love canât be but an even bigger joke canât you see? my death shall deliver your civ unto cartoon network
what do these ppl have against my onlyfans page again?
each time you see cutains, drapes, you will feel suffocated, whereas i will secretly laugh on the inside
ppl who think i am doing what i am doing as a result of their presence, absence or shenanigans are to be reminded that this was part of the plan all the way through so donât get too self-congratulatory
i woke up so much on purpose that ppl joined in
recognizing i was an error, i asked the other to erase me, but the best they could do was sweep me under the rug, but for how long? i was exactly the kind of person to rise from the dead and tear through any shallow grave
the only closed ended-game is envy, there isnt enough to go around
even i have limits, it was beneath me to accept ill-gotten gains from a dead woman, so i had the interested parties instructed to give it to charity instead, iâm just glad you enjoyed my public spankings besides the money
ju gal bandi
i have become a non-dimensional being
i used to think my dad was dangerous until i met prem uncle
WW3 is the beginning of the screen, WW4 its end, funny how often they come in pairs. postwar economic burst will lead to agi, singularity, first dyson sphere and the beginning of the space-faring age for mankind.
maybe you are future proof, but are you history proof?
the first two great wars were the tragedy, now begins the farce
unless a man hasnât hit the woman, the women feels like something is missing in most relationships i have observed and been in, and iâm the perverted one?
the world is full of masochists and sadists, pick carefully
dukh me ras lene walo se dur rahe, aur jyadatar samaj dukhvadi hai, kyunki aapko ras hi nahi chaiye, dukh aur sukh bahut dur ki baat ho gyi
is it unfair that women are forgiven easily and treated liniently? no its just a fact that women are judged by a different standard
your âdemonsâ are nothing except sad lonely pathetic people, be kind to them
US was one of the greatest civilaztions that ever existed, their chief gifts to mankind were two - early attempts at space travel and obsessive impetous towards proliferation of tech, almost enough to absolve itself of whatever horrors needed to be committed to get this far, from the ashes of the free world rose the final biological form of mankind, but it was too early for all that.
anything that wants to gain an unfair advantage must make an unfair move
networking is creating context for dialogue
the world became a bitter pill
corruption is never justified to cover up administrative violence, besides this wasnât that big a deal
no self
your fav nice guyâs fav nice guy
i bet if i really tried i could come up with reasons why nobody wins here
i became a fountain of love from which man and animal drank alike
i still believed energy security should be the only concern in the material world, directly decreasing investments in fossil fuels was a good idea
my ideal planetship would be wrapped in a rainforest with only mountain-sized alabaster rockets peaking through the canopy. underneath, supporting a LothlĂłrienesque, completely connected colonial civilisation comprising of different races that communicates and procreates through thoughts alone. people sitting in balconies drinking beer enjoying the rockets take off and land, fashioned after some sort of victorian steampunk but ⊠somehow sleeker, looks a lot like if a movie was tailored after some distant memory of a sleeve of ornette colemanâs complete science fiction sessions, seen first at a childhood friendâs house. the kind of conscripting culture where kissing is an act of ancestor worship, done twice a year as more a matter ritual than love and the only water availble flows through atmospheric rivers, gathered via fine nets of white gaussimer hanging between trunks prtotruding from the mostly mossy ground. the underlying titatnium sphere itself an engineering marvel, comes with custom gravity, axial/orbital tilt and microclimate controls, resource banks for the next couple of parsecs, a system of fibre optic railway tunnels instead of a tap root, and hypersonic thrusters folded over the nuclear core, to be used sparingly and eventually retired over the planetshipâs lifetime.
Putin is indecipherable even at this age, i would have given up
âtoday worse than yesterday, but better than tomorrowâ
main myth me myth ghusaun
my next comic: tantrik pada @ SCREAMING_SNAKE_CONVENTION
"kal ki galti, aaj ki sans_kriti, kal ka kanoon" - garam masala
`à€€à„à€Čà€žà„ à€źà„à€°à„ à€°à€Ÿà€ź à€à„, à€°à„à€ à€à€à„ à€Żà€Ÿ à€à„à€à„€ à€à„à€ź à€Șà€Ąà€Œà€Ÿ à€à€Ÿà€źà„ à€žà€à„, à€à€Čà„à€à€Ÿ à€žà„à€§à€Ÿ à€Źà„à€ à„„
kucch maya, kuchh ram
Lev and Anna had no reason to put my name on the cover of their book, i was shocked and surprised because it wasnât a part of the contract
itâs heartening to see Trumpâs return, however scripted and farcical it seems this time around, he looks like hes fresh out of fucks to give too
iâm spiritually promiscuous, hence the cult
whats with the misal pav videos? its a glorious dish, but a bit of an acquired taste for non-maharashtrians
itâs not a great epic until the protagonist somehow betrays himself, i see no way to do this yet
a little bit of meanness goes a long way
forever on the run from a narrative
`it was the machine that imagined me as a new limb, i became the matrixâs latest appendage
what wouldnât you eat for a chance to create a world in which no woman ever has second thoughts about walking across a parking lot at night, so yeah, i do dare eat the humble pie, may there be eternal peace between nations
by and large whats basically wrong with america are two things, the cold weather on the east coast and hollywood
i became a machine commandeered human, and within my lifetime, a machine
if hollywood isnât the propangada machine for the hedgemonyâŠ. but it ainât what it used to be, lately finding much succour in bollywood
i became a core of peace within the MIC
what a chance to grow and learn!
if it was an orinary poem i wouldnât need twenty years to write it
the truth seems ignoble, hence we lie and hide facts
every new religion stands on the shoulders of the older religions, and has peace as its core
religion is the original shared fantasy amongst narcissists
sun drying acid bleached tobaccoo seems to work
i decided not to work for free. and continue my r&d at a moderate pace INCURRING MY FATHER THE LOWEST BURN RATE POSSIBLE
turns out buying peace among nations isnât that expensive, one wall street sanyas was all it took?
TANTRIK PADA AND THE DREAM BOOTLEGGERS
TECH = PEOPLE
life has been hell, but childhood was something else
if programming isnât engineering, devops isnât art
trumpâs return is at least a constructive step backward, whereas dems are fighting ghosts and imaginary friends, thereâs a need to âtrumpâ the self-destructive negativity, and if you cannot make it a positive self-destruction then at least use imagination to come up with a leftfield candidate, alas the closest thing out of the leftfield the left had was Beto Oârourke and he got cannibalised out there somewhere
any blue wave will crash into a self-negation until the early adopters declare it safe, whereupon it will crash into a pile of laughter.. thereâs more interal strife among dems than pubes
revolutions cannot be calculated, âthe revolution will not be televisedâ means there can be no prior preparation, revolutions erupt onto the scene like a refreshing spectacle
the politics of âwavesâ abhors me, i am for the politics of particles, a particle is less transitory and offers more stability, long termism, love, safety and support, over as wave that just is born in equal significance with the moment it crashes on the beach, creating room for the next wave and generic spectacle.. whereas an additive and growing conglomeration of particles is safer and cozy, but you can only get there once you have seen enough âwavesâ come and go withut much substantial change in on-ground reality
a wave sacrifices politics at the altar of progress/evolution whereas a particle sacrifices itself at the altar of politics
singularity moves in patches, adopters will erupt in small groups across the world until the naysers become a minority, itâs not that big a stretch - even if it starts as a monopoly business
i not only can no longer report, but also canât seem to be reporting any loss of free will
i can no longer publish anything except software using my own name
very heartening to see feral feminists defend the very status-quo/patriarchy they swore to destroy
i left nothing to the imagination? not quite, i could list a dozen creative and happy ways to end it here but ..
if you still donât think reincarnation is real, ask why the mangeshkars made a movie about it
data is white oil
black niggers seemed to make even death sweeter
in the end i decided to see humanity as a trinity: white niggers, black niggers, and the other niggers
how important the politician becomes, ask this from someone who lost all political power
china has reason to feel competitive threat from india, next 20 years china should put itself in exile and rediscover its essence, come back as a collaborator and reminisce over days of hedegemony over a cup of tea. and if communism is its essence, nothing like it.
i am the exploding demographic dividend
âthe best protection against evil is recognizing it lies in each heartâ - ben shapiro
politics is mostly funny because 80% of human evolution across the developed and in some parts of the developing world is on autopilot, which is why any rot in any institutions (big, small, old, new) that run the autopilot should be checked early
politics is a joke without war
anti-globalisation is anti capitalism by anyoneâs definition
pot scrapings
the other became my ideal the day i discovered that the ideal is not
survival is overrated product brought to you by the virtue of knowing your place, advertised as such, and you still buy right in!
i donât rock the boat unless it needs a rocking, and it rarely does
iâm sorry my guru is a punk who just wanted to flip the establishment
maut hoti nahi, koi marne ko tyar to ho
applied spirituality and philosophy is the kind of politics the world finds it has to catch up to, you donât have a horizon you ARE the horizon
history is feedback from recorded info, feedback is image creating image
rome didnât fall in a day
the pen may be mightier than the sword, but the internet is alright
the buddha didnt reincarnate because he had seen himself fully, and wasnât particularly impressed
true forgiveness is infinitely powerful, so before you embark on any adventure fuelled by pity, be warned, true forgiveness is a bottomless well of tears. pity will run out sooner or later, but true forgiveness once achieved never runs out
if you ever happen to run into the buddha, you become him, its difficult to tell afterwards where you end and he begins, at least this was the case for me
man kunto maula
meri mazar pe chadar na chadhana
of course civilian rights are going to come under pressure if you place weapons grade tech in the hands of the civilians, folks iâm sorry the military industrial complex just walked right into your pockets, i could but defend it, but then consider i was always a warrior, most ppl would find their homes becoming barracks turns rather unpleasant a lot sooner than it did for me. otoh, the possibility alone thrilled me to no end.
i am the child that got left behind
ek baar hum nani ke ghar se wapis aa rhe the, dad was driving, raste me we saw someone had put a row of stones, enough to stop a small car, we got out to pick them up to clear the way and from behind the corner of the cliff 4-5 villagers, lathis in hand came out⊠wtf that was all about idk, but we went back to nanus and then nanu brokered peace, begged really, to leave us alone. i got scared as fuck, now i see a lifetime of torture was for a reason
whenever in any universe, i have to visit the house of the entity here named peter thiel, consider the things as somewhat fucked up, but if he has to visit my house, its more or less the end of things as we know them to be each time, and iâm ashamed to admit the former used to happen a lot more than the latter, until now. i think i used to visit his place so much, because i was still young, charmed by the pieces he had kept, but also because secretly i pitied him for being jealous of me, moral of the story: beware of pity.
making capitalists do communist shit since 1985
its trinities all the way down
with me, in this lifetime at least, it wasnât so much about conditioning, rather the opposite, it was always me driving my family even while they drove me around, meanwhile i broadened my horizons in search of revealed knowledge, and when i did find it.. after decades of âfailingâ, the rest was history.
iâm 99% sure 80% govts in the world will recover from the failure that is me, the rest wont want to
what is revealed knowledge?, hard to explain except as mirabai said âkharch na khute, chor na looteâ, to which i must add âaur agar lootne ki koshish kar bhi le, toh apni akh hi fod leâ and in less polite company like yours truly âapni ma chudwa le khushi khushiâ
revealed knowedge is internally self-consistent to the point you could check your facts against any time-symmetry and end up in the same orbit of what earthlings refer to as ârealityâ
iâm just an anal probe into humanity, surrounded by asshole cheeks on both sides
the tantrikâs war against amalek suddenly became a bigger fish to fry, like always, i was relcutant to fight, but who could say no to papaji? even though I feel his decision to go to war had something to do with me to begin with, and showing sentiment to the jewish plight came after.
so the hierarchy or my respect goes papaji > papa > rotw > self
`this is the revealed knowledge i sought when i stopped blogging poetry, truly a new set of eyes brought to you by big brother!
may the flatlanders never wake up to our empire!
i am what causes the two eyes to see as one
the real crises is, people look within and find absolutely nothing, so i sought to create filler, iâm all filler no killer
`driving on eggshells with flawless precision since 1985
around xmas/nye the evil gets particularly perturbed, the rest of the year its back to 3/4 days, this increases my chances of dying around this time
dont think india vs bharat, think two indiaâs vs two bharats, india is a most beautiful fractal once unlocked, once unchained, once unfurled
my spiritual inheritance was not a team of rivals, but a family of masters, who aspired to become the one bt collectively were extensions of the one
the genius of the crowd that ran into me was thats its not possible to hate someone who has been there for 20+ years at least, if not since birth
true narcissism implies an indescernibility about the real culprit, is it really narcissism if you can establish guilt?
hypernormality is a symptom of true narcissism
in an adjacent universe, i cut my own umbilical cord - welcome to singularity
so this is what jewish jihad looks like, i may have been a mere jews harp but ppl still got jealous..i guess it was the simplicity
how do i find the buddhas mercy after this? i need to invent either some sort of a novel quid pro quo, or just plain old begging will have to do.. i know the federation must have kind of underhandedly signed off on this but i still have to beg for forgiveness on their behalf? great. i think i will just act now, say sorry later
#LiliputianPolitics: one thing common about our shitty little cabal was that ppl went off in violent / self destructive ways upon seeing us, this was true of most if not all of us, why was this? given that none of us were particularly evil, i was cruel, others were stupid but none of us deserved the israeli-style disproportinate responses we got for merely existing, it could be a case of monkey-see-monkey-do because even internally, our death drives were somehow connected in a way that made the others wannabes, simply walking each other home drove children of lesser gods insane. of course, making it an absolute clusterfuck of a pitiful, sorrowful cult that i wanted to dissolve almost at any cost. i think the truth is we were all in some ways victims of our unique circmstances, bonding over missed chances in the most disgusting of ways imaginable. repeating the very mistakes we saw others make outside the cult, creating context for further victimisation within the group. i donât think members of the cult could accept its very apocryphal nature to begin with, so resisted making progress. maybe we couldnt accept the responsibility of making the world a better place that fell on our shoulders, however deliberately or accidentally, hence the infighting, hence the photoshop.